Pokemon Purple Version
by LividTears
Summary: Another one of Duo's stupidity acts gets the G boys into trouble again. They are sucked into a parallel universe where they must "catch 'em all!" YAOI!
1. PURPLE IS THE GAY COLOR!

cHrRyBlSsM: A joint fic.!! HAHAHAHA!!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: ^.^; i tink she's on drugs...don't mind her...  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: I hate this shift key. And this computer, but whatever, we don't own Gundam Wing. **both sigh wistfully in unison**  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: We were kind enough to use a piece of ancient crap so we could write this, since it's the only one with a floppy disk drive, and it's as slow as hell, so BE GRATEFUL AND READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, we don't own Pokemon. *thank god*  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: Yeah, so we've been talking a lot, so ON WITH THE SHOW!!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: umm, dude, it's a fic, not a show.....  
  
Pokemon: Purple Version  
  
chap. 1 ~ PURPLE IS THE GAY COLOR!!!!  
  
Autumn leaves fell from the trees, vibrant leaves creating an array of colors. A rickety tow-truck coughed, sputtered, and died as it pulled up next to a large department store. Its black letteres reading BEST BUY stood out among the yellow background. Wufei sat at the driver's seat, muttering about the stupidity of gameboys and weak technology. Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Quatre were all piled in the open-air of the back trunk with the wild wind messing up their immaculately drawn hair. Duo happily bounced into the department store with the other pilots following behind (excluding Wufei of course, who refused to take part in such a "weak errand," cursed and kicked the old piece of crap, muttering madly, stating that was a sorry excuse for a vehicle) as the old truck wheezed and smoke trailed from the exhaust pipe.  
"Damn Maxwell and his stupidity. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid," his chant was cut short by a melodic tune ringing "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Wufei swore under his breath, that stupid, no, IDIOTIC Maxwell must have tampered with his cell phone ring. Finding it was a text message, he pulled it up on the screen and read the message, "BEWARE THE GAY COLOR. DO NOT BUY THE PURPLE POKEMON VERSION, OR ALL GAMEBOYS OF MANKIND WILL BE ANNIHILATED."  
The Chinese boy muttered, "Gameboys?! Purple version?! GAY COLOR?! What the hell?! Who gives a damn about gay colored gameboys!! Ugh, this is what I get for living with a bunch of homosexuals." He continued to rant and rave as he entered the gay store filled with gay idiots who bought gay technology. REAL men don't go bouncing with gayness to a gay store to buy gay colored gameboys. That was just...GAY. ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Duo couldn't stand still in the cash register line. A bald man ahead of them was taking his sorry sweet time checking his wallet for any coupon that would fit his needs. Holding a small, plastic box in his hand, he whined, "Hee-chan, he's taking too looooooong."  
Quatre's usual gentle gaze was replaced by a look that said I-can't- believe-you're-still-into-gameboys-I-got-over-that-phase-at-fourteen-you- idiot. Heero, however, was slightly in a hurry, and besides, this was DUO, and anything to make him happy...  
Heero pulled out his gun and cocked it at the bald man's head. The man slowly turned around, eyes bulged. Heero said evenly, "You better move your abnormally big ass out of here or I'll blow your shiny, waxed head out."  
The woman at the register gave Heero a glance and said, "I thought we had metal detectors here, oh well, whatever you're going to do, hurry up, I've got business waiting behind you. Ah, well, there goes my lunch break..." Heero threw a menacing glare at her, which said, "Well, guess what lady, I don't give a damn about your fucking lunch break."  
Wufei hummed a happy tune as he strolled up to the register where the about-to-be murder was about to take place. "Heero, put that gun down or Quatre's gonna have to bail you out AGAIN." Heero grudgingly lowered the gun, while Duo was paying for his beloved game.  
The register lady stared at the cover, "Pokemon Purple Version? Um..aren't you a bit OLD?" Heero spun around and recocked his gun, pointing it right at the cashier's face. Quatre immediately yelled, "HEERO!" Trowa said nothing, just watching the rather amusing scene play on. She turned white, and quickly handed Duo's money and game back to him, "Eheh, here, have it for free. Have a nice day."  
Heero, apparently satisfied, placed his gun back in its hoster and watched his lover tear at the box that held his precious game captive. Duo let out a squeal of delight and hopped up and down for joy, causing Heero's eyes to soften at his lover's happiness (*awwwwww*) while Wufei rolled his eyes and nearly gagged.  
Duo pulled out his gameboy SP which he kept in his pocket AT ALL TIMES. He popped the game into the "game-insert-HOLE" (or whatever the hell you call it)(not like that you pervert!!). Wufei, distracted by the chaos, remembered the text message and saw the flash of color the metallic game reflected. 'Beware the Gay color...'  
"Maxwell, don't play that -" His words were cut off by Duo's boastful, sing-song voice, "Ah, shut up Wu-man, I know you're jealous and all that, but let me play my game in peace." Heero looked like he was going to pull out another gun, but Duo stopped him, with an exaggerated sympathetic nod towards Wufei. The black-haired pilot sighed in frustration, 'You can't get anything through that thick, hollow skull...Why in the world does Heero love that brainless git??'  
"Alright Maxwell, but don't say I didn't warn you." Duo stuck out his tongue, and turned the gameboy on. Adventurous, happy music played at full blast, but stopped abruptly as the screen went black and the words appeared on the screen, in large, white, capital letters.  
"..." Duo pressed enter impatiently and the message continued, "Are YOU ready to be a Master?" Duo eagerly nodded to himself, and continued to furiously press A.  
A blinding light flashed and a sucking wind drew all five pilots towards the miniscule machine. "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO THIS TIME MAXWELL????????!!!!" Wufei yelled over the roaring wind. Trowa didn't say anything, but his eyebrows shot up as he allowed the wind to wisk him away. Quatre only sighed, hoping that this time, it wouldn't be another medevial quest...  
("cHrRyBlSsM: **AHEM**, I am interrupting this regularly scheduled program to make an important announcement." "CrYsTaLsNoW: *rolls her eyes, and sighs* She's always trying to advertise her fics..." "cHrRyBlSsM: -_-; As I was saying, if you're wondering what we're referring to as the 'medevial quest,' check out my other fic., titled 'When In Rome, Do As the Romans Do.' It's humor as well!! ^.^ I'm waiting for your reviews... ANYTIME now... -_- Okie, back to our regularly scheduled program!")  
Heero pulled out another gun and blindly started blasting everywhere, including at the four pilots he happened to be whirling around with. The other four pilots dodged his bullets in midair and Duo screamed, "HEERO!! MY LOVE, STOP THIS MADNESS, I BEG OF YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!" (*authoresses sweatdropped*)  
The wind roaring around them, like a vacumm, our poor unfortunate heros continue to spin uncontrollably, like clothes in a washing machine set on high. (We don't know what that's called either, aren't we so smart?? Yes?)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: Well, I think that was a good start, please take time out to push that bluish button in the lower left-hand corner, that says the wonderful words, "Submit Review"  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Well put mah friend....we'll be waiting for your reviews. No worries, there's no pressure here....REVIEW US, NNNNOOOOOWWWWW!!! OR WE'LL SEND HEERO OUT TO KILL YOU ALL!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: **Ahem** I think she found the crack... (jk, jk!! ^.^ Don't send the cops on us!!! -_- sheesh, you people can't take a joke) **CrYsTaLsNoW fights cHrRyBlSsm for the keyboard**  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: cHrRyBlSsM!! Now they know our secret!!!!!  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERT!!!! jeez... *sweatdrop* 


	2. it's a whole new world we live in

cHrRyBlSsM: Well, right now, I'm all alone at the computer... ALL alone... hahahaha... o.O No, I'm okay, guess I'll have to do all this crap myself. Ummm, no we don't own Gundam Wing or Pokemon. Thanx to those of you guys who have reviewed and I URGE the rest of you to do the same. hahahaha... okay, anyways, on with it... CrYsTaLsNoW is very anxious at the moment...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: I'm Bakkk!!! **cHrRyBlSsM cowers in the corner** *glares* hehe, i had to sign the two us up for the bus after school, we're at the school library rite now...yea, so anyhoo, I'm really excited so I have to get on writing, bai bai!! (by the way we don't own Gundam Wing or Pokemon...)  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: I alread said that SHIT!!!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: well, geez, sssssooooooorrry...she can get a lil' skeptical sometimes, so don't mind her... **cHrRyBlSsM bangs a mallet over CrYsTaLsNoW's head, she goes unconscious**  
  
chap. 2 ~ it's a whole new world we live in...literally  
  
Duo's butt hit solid ground as he landed with an "omph." Heero only glowered and fumed to himself as he took in his surroundings. Trowa with his usual emotionless expression walked silently over to Quatre and helped his lover up. Wufei swore at that damn Maxwell again as he pulled himself up.  
The world was pitch black and Duo said stupidly, "Is that SUPPOSED to happen?" Quatre sweatdropped.  
Suddenly, there WAS LIGHT and the G-boys found themselves in a land full of...COLOR.....and to Wufei's eyes....GAYNESS. They stared at their surroundings, noticing a green forest, when a drum beat suddenly began to kick in, its beat rining in the pilots' ears, REALLY REALLY LOUD.  
Wufei stared at Duo, "Maxwell, shut the hell up."  
"Hey it's not me!" He said furiously, "...for once..."  
Quatre opened his mouth to say something, but was cut short by an annoying melodic tune beginning to play....  
"EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A MASTER, EVERYBODY WANTS TO SHOW THEIR SKILL! EVERYBODY WANTS TO GET THERE FASTER, MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE TOP OF THE HILL! EACH TIME, YOU TRY, YOU GONNA GET JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTAH, EACH DAY, YOU CLIMB, JUST ONCE MORE STEP UP THE LADDER!!!  
"IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN, IT'S A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SEE! IT'S A WHOLE NEW PLACE, WITH A BRAND NEW ATTITUDE, BUT YA STILL GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!! BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE..... *DOO DOO DOO DOO-DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO, DOO-DOO DOO DOO-DOO DOO."  
A yellow, fuzzy rat made its way into Duo's outstretched arms. It looked up with an adorable smile squeaking out, "Pikachu!" Heero glared murderously at the yellow furball, "Omae o korosu." Seeing a threat, the Pikachu glowed a static yellow and bellowed, "PIKAAAA-CHUUUUUU!!!" Being in Duo's hands at the moment, Duo was electricuted and his long, three foot braid stood on end, its ends fried to a crisp.  
The annoying song continued to everyone's displeasure...  
"EVERYBODY WANTS TO MAKE A STATEMENT! EVERYBODY NEEDS TO CARVE THEIR MARK! STAND ALONE IN THE VICTORY CIRCLE! STAKE THEIR CLAIM WHEN THE MUSIC STARTS!  
"GIV'IT ALL, YOU'VE GOT! YOU CAN BE THE VERY BEST EVER! TAKE YOUR, BEST SHOT! WHAT YOU'VE LEARN WILL COME TOGETHER!  
"IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN! IT'S A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SEE! IT'S A WHOLE NEW PLACE WITH A BRAND NEW ATTITUDE! BUT YOU STILL GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE!!"  
Wufei snorted with irritacy. This stupid, gay song was getting on his nerves. Damn it, where the hell were they and what the fuck was this song about?! Other furry and seemingly harmless creatures bounced around the pilots, happily (and of course, GAYFULLY). WHAT THE HELL?!  
"POKEMON JOHTO!! POKEMON JOHTO!!!!! POKEMON JOHTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The song finally ended to everyone's relief (even Duo's which is hard to imagine). The ground gave way before them, and our heros fell through the bottomless pit...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero and Duo fell through the endless tunnel and landed into what seemed like a pile of pink, shiney slimeballs, quickly followed by Trowa, Quatre, and much to his dismay, Wufei. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, the black-haired pilot glanced around him, staring in disbelief at the pinkish goo. Heero turned to Duo and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him furiously, "DUO?! ARE YOU OKAY?!!" And without a moment's hesitation, (and without shame) he started to kiss furiously all over the American's face.  
"Damn it, Duo, you had me worried," he said through gasps (ignoring the fact that he was practically suffocating Duo with his smooches).  
Duo stared at Heero blankly, "Ditto..."  
"So, where the hell are we?"  
"Ditto..."  
"Uh, I asked you first..."  
"Ditto..."  
"DAMN IT DUO, SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN DITTO!!"  
"Ditto..."  
Suddenly a blob of pinkish goo jumped onto Hee-chan's (*awww*) head and it squeaked, "DITTOOOOOOOO!!"  
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CrYsTaLsNoW: **AHEM** We were oh so rudely interrupted by the librarian... she caught us writing the fic...  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: Yea, so now we're in the janitor's closet, hand-writing this, w/ only a rickety bulb to lite our piece of paper...over a bag of toilet paper...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: and it smells like shit...no BULLSHIT in here...  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: alrite, we really didn't mean for this to cut off, we'll do our best to finish the chapter and continue...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: we'll have more inspiration if we got some REVIEWS... hehe... (to all the peeps out there... mrs. sidoti sux $%@#!!) 


	3. chap 2 continued

CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness, we're bak, we have to do this at home, since technically we can't do it at school anymore.... *sigh* anyhoo, we finally found a spot in our schedule where we could do this so here we are! annnnnddd.......yea, we don't own Gundam Wing and Pokemon.....so yea, on with the show!! (after cHrRyBlSsM has a few words)  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yea, juss a quik thing... uh... we honestly did not mean to run out on the last chapter, but our librarian has this ugly face... yea, and it scares the hell out of us, so yea, here we gooooooooooooooo:  
  
chap. 2 continued....  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero jumped ten feet into the air, coming back down with a loud THUD (and not to mention a bruise the size of China on his butt). "What the fuck is THAT?!" He turned back to where Duo was, and saw at his feet another pink piece of gel.  
"DUO?! Where are YOU?!" A groan came from twenty feet away, where the American pilot was, apparently he blacked out. "Duo, what are you doing over there?" Heero asked.  
"I was always over...here..." Duo grumbled, rubbing his butt, (rather seductively to Heero's eyes...) making his way over to Heeeeeeeeee-chan. Heero put on a puzzled look as he watched the many pink things crawling all over him. Duo turned his back on Heero and looked around him, "Hmmm, where are we? And where are Quatre, Trowa, and Wu-man??" While Duo was saying all this however, Heero was being flooded by the many Dittos that had continued to suffocate him. "Heero? Hee-chan?? HEY ARE YOU LISTENING TO MEEEEE???" Duo spun around only to find a mountain of Dittos piled on top of his lover. "AACCK!! HEE-CHAN NOOOOOO!!! HANG ON, YOU'RE LOVING HOMO IS COMING!!!" The long haired American whipped out his gun, and without a moment's hesitation he started to shoot at every little pink blob that dared to touch his LOVE.  
Quatre cautiously took in his very COLORFUL (and don't forget GAY) surroundings. Suddenly, his mind flashed to his boyfriend. "TROWA!! TROWAAAA!! HONEY??? SWEETHEART???? WHERE ARE YYYYYYOOOOOOUUU???" The anxious Arabian frantically searched for his lover, his head swiveling this way and that, turning his usual immaculately combed hair into a mess. Pinkish blobs began to surround the blond, and Quatre began to hear faint yells in the distance, but he ignored them as he looked for his lover through the thick pink mass.  
He spotted a body in the distance and immediately ran over. "TROWA?! IS THAT YOU??!!" As Quatre got closer, he saw that it was in fact Trowa, and leaned over the still body. Rapidly he began checking for a pulse, but could not find one. "Trowa..." Quatre whispered. Tears began to spill from Quatre's eyes, brimming his eyelashes, as they spilled over. He lay atop the body, crying his poor little eyes out.  
Trowa's eyes fluttered and he looked at the distressed blonde teen crying all over him and wetting his shirt. Quatre looked up and said happily, "TROWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Trowa smiled and patted Quatre soothingly on the back. "Don't you EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!" Trowa gave Quatre a questioning glance, but said nothing as they both got up.  
"I think I heard Duo's scream from over there..." Quatre said slowly as they began to walk towards Duo's yells, becoming louder and louder as they got closer and closer...  
Quatre and Trowa soon came to the scene where Duo was frantically shooting at a gargantuous pile of pinkish goo. "DIE, DIE, DIE!!! THE GOD OF DEATH IS SENDING YOU ALL TO HELL!!!" *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* Quatre could see Wufei standing not a foot away from Duo's range of fire power, shaking his head and muttering about bakas and how they shouldn't be allowed to even hold a gun, and in Duo's case, not even know about a gun's existance. Abruptly, a loud explosion was heard, and in amongst the din of the squeaking mini HOT PINK jello scrambling everywhere, the G boys heard a familiar voice muttering curses. "Omae o korosu...." Duo's face came alight with joy, "HHHEEEE-CHAAAAAANNN!!" He immediatly pounced on his lover, glomping him.  
"Hey! Hey you guys!" A voice cried.  
All five pilots turned their heads in unison, finding the source of the voice. In front of them, they saw a young, and not to mention, an incredibly short boy with a red hat with a blue shortsleeves jacket. A red- headed girl stood at his right, with her hair put up in a high ponytail. Also with the boy was a spikey, brown-haired teen, his eyes that were no more than just lines.  
"I am Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, and I challenge you to a battle!!" the boy cried.  
'Alright with me...' Heero thought, smirking maliciously. He nodded to his fellow pilots and they pulled out their many guns, knives, and bombs, firing at will. Hey, this was their idea....  
Ash, Misty, and Brock screamed like five-year old onnas, dropping to the ground, covering their heads with their hands. A yellow mouse-like creature made its way to the front of his master, looking at the five murderous teens. "PIIIIIIIIKAAAA-CHUUUUUUU!!" he screamed, lighting the air with yellow electricity, shocking anything that was...conductable....including guns.....Poor Heero was suddenly electricuted with a high voltage thunder bolt. He whispered quietly to himself, "No....no.....no......a yellow squeaking fur ball.....took down....the perfect soldier....." Heero's vision darkened as he lost conscienceness. The rest of the Gundam pilots stared in disbelief (cHrRyBlSsM: CrYsTaLsNoW had issues with the word "disbelief," dunno, i just had to say that....) at their fallen comrade. Horrified, Duo shut his eyes tightly as tears began to flow. 'No...I won't cry....I, the Shinigami will not cry.....I will stay strong and carry out my duty as the GOD OF DEATH!' His malevolent violet gaze turned sharply at the young Pokemon trainer. With a loud cry he jumped on top of him and wrung his hands around his neck, desperate for revenge, trying the squeeze the life out of the young boy. The rest of the G boys sweatdropped for the rest of them knew that Heero was only unconscious, not dead. Wufei strode forward toward the frantic and insane pilot, who didn't notice him coming for he was quite busy choking a certain someone. The Chinese pilot swiftly jabbed the hilt of his katana on the back of Duo's head, hitting a major pressure point. Duo fell to the ground, dazed and soon VERY angry. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CHANG??!! I AM GETTING REVENGE FOR MY LOVE!!! DON'T YOU DARE INTERFERE!!!!"  
Brock leaned over and whispered into Misty's ear, "LOVE?! Is this guy.....GAY?!" Wufei overheard the comment and he turned his head to the two. "Yea. I'm surrounded by stupid, horny, homosexuals. Maxwell's gay, Yuy's gay, and so is him," pointing to Quatre, who blushed guiltily, "and so's him." pointing at Trowa. "And me, I am Wufei Chang, the last of the proud Dragon Clan, and I am proud to say, I'M NOT GAY!" The breeder and Cerulean Gym leader both facefaulted to the ground. Finally finished with his speech, he turned back to Duo. "MAXWELL, YOU ASSHOLE BAKA!! Yuy is NOT dead, he's UNCONSCIOUS." To prove his point, he banged the hilt of his katana on Heero's head. Heero emitted a loud "oof" and sat upright, guns still clenched in hand and eyes glinting, searching for the rat that had brought him down.  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!" Duo began to kiss Heero passionately. They remained there for quite awhile, and Duo started moaning. Ash, Misty, and Brock made disgusted looks and nearly threw up. Wufei bonked both of them on the head and seperated them before he himself fainted from this gross and GAY sight. Quatre caught Trowa's eyes, and both nodded as they follow suit.  
"Ahem, yes, this is but a taste of my life. I don't know why I even bother talking to these jackasses." Wufei turned to Ash and Brock, and glared suspiciously, "You're not GAY TOO ARE YOU?!" And with that he turned to Misty, "AND HELL, YOU BETTER NOT BE LESBIAN..." Misty walked over to Wufei and muttered, "You moron, I'M NOT A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!" Her mouth stretched wide as she yelled, and Wufei swore he saw fangs in that girl's mouth. And with no warning, a fist swung and contacted with Wufei's nose. He clutched his face and grunted in pain, "Stupid and weak onna..." Ignoring the fact that he had a broken nose.... Misty screamed, "WEAK?! STUPID?!!!! ONNA?????!!!!"  
The last words were erupted loudly from the girl's mouth as mountains shook, and oceans....bubbled.... ANYWAYS, the ground shook, and a dirt platform formed below Misty, raising her a good two inches off the ground. She seemed to glow as she continued to scream, "AND WHO AM I?!! I AM MISTY, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GYM LEADER OF THE PROUD CERULEAN GYM!! THE YOUNGEST AND STRONGEST, I CARRY THE PRIDE OF WATER TRAINERS EVERYWHERE!!!!!"  
Everyone covered their ears, and facefaulted as they all lost consciousness... Once again (for like the millionth time in this fic....) everything turned black, the girl's annoying voice ringing in their ears....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: Yea, i know the g-boys didn't really get anywhere, but this is just the continuation of the second chapter, so deal with it and REVIEW!!! oh, and flames are welcome...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: *sniff* ish so beautiful...I'm so happy.....these days i'm so happy, we got 2 REVIEWS. Thanx SO MUCH TO RINKUROCKS AND GUNDAM06SERENITY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cHrRyBlSsM: not like that you pervert....) Please keep reviewing!!! Flames are welcome!!! (cHrRyBlSsM: I said that shit...) I'M SO HAAAAPPPPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^.^  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yup, she's definately happy. Review you guys, or we might not post the next chapter.... *dun dun duuuuuuunnn* 


	4. prepare for trouble

cHrRyBlSsM: haha, hi guys!! Thanx again for alllll the wonderful reviews!!! Hehe, that's getting kinda repetitive.  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: wassup you guys!! ^.^ Today's my half b-day!!! *yay* All my friends decorated my locker, I was SO HAPPY!!!! Hehe, anyhoo, I would also like to thank all those peeps who took the time to review us, muchos gracias you guys!!!  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yea, whatever, we're kinda short on time so we're just going to get started, kay?  
  
chap. 3 ~ prepare for trouble...  
  
Wufei's eyes fluttered as he regained consciousness. A canvas tent surrounded him as he tried to remember what had happened in the last couple of hours. Something about Maxwell getting them into another stupid mess. There was a yellow rat. And.pink things. And some girl who had too much pride. Thank god it was a dream. Although Wufei didn't recall being in a tent when he had fallen asleep. Hmmm.  
Misty made her way to the Chinese pilot's tent. Why did they even bother helping these complete strangers that had almost killed them? Apparently this was all Ash's idea, and Ash was definitely too soft on anyone. She opened the flaps to see Wufei sitting up on top of his sleeping bag they had OH GRACIOUSLY provided.  
"Uh, what the hell.? Damn, this ISN'T a dream." Wufei muttered to himself crazily.  
"Did you have lots of nightmares?" Misty asked sweetly. Wufei merely glared, refusing to respond to such a WEAK GIRL. The water trainer rolled her eyes, seeing Wufei's expression. Only Ash's warnings to be at least be NICE, kept her from punching this guy's IDIOTIC (Misty tries to avoid swearing) guts out..  
Wufei snorted, and leaned against the walls of the tent, and suddenly remembered that the tent walls weren't solid, as he fell through. However, he didn't completely fall back because Misty had leapt forward to "rescue" the stupid ass's ass. (oops, ditch the Misty-doesn't-swear thing)  
"LET. GO. OF. ME." Wufei said slowly and evenly. Misty's eyes narrowed.  
"Hmph, fine." She abruptly dropped him, letting land on the filthy ground. "K'so! Stupid onna!!" Misty smirked with amusement, watching the Chinese pilot get dirt out of his ponytail. Without warning, she leaned over the fallen pilot and kissed him lightly on the lips. Wufei's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up in shock. Misty quickly pulled away, blushing a furious red (the color suited her quite well.). Wufei, speechless for a few seconds, while the red head quickly dashed out of the tent. As the tent flap flapped, Wufei touched his lips to where she had made CONTACT. He quickly regained his tongue and shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! YOU DROP ME AND THEN YOU KISS ME?? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED TIMING?!!!" Abruptly, Duo walked in with a puzzled look, but immediately started to snicker. "Kiss?! Who in the right mind would kiss you?! *groowwwl* Looks like Wufei's hormones are kicking in. Before you know it Wu-man, you're going to get a girlfriend whether you like it or not man. Or maybe a...dare I say it...BOYFRIEND." With that, Duo immediately began to roar with laughter, clutching his sides, rolling on the ground, and pounding the floor, while at the same time (don't ask me how) chanting, "WUFEI'S TURNING GaaaAAAAaaY, WU-MAN'S TURNING GGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAA---ack!!" Wufei yanked on Duo's precious braid in his clenched fist. "Get the hell out of my tent you baka, or I'll..de-braid you." Duo squeaked, turning chalk white. "De-braid?!" Duo whispered. "Yes, now GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!" Wufei yanked on the braid to emphasize his meaning. With a yelp, the American pilot scrambled out of the tent crying for his lover.  
  
Misty, quickly walking as fast as she could, muttered under her breath about what the he-.no, heck, heck! She.hold on rewind!! Did she kiss that asshole??!! Was she out of HER MIND?! 'I hate that bas-. uh. JERK!... I hate that jerk. I hate him. I hate him..'  
Not looking where she was going, she bumped into Quatre, and smiled weakly as she apologized quickly and made her way to the nearby stream to splash some very COLD water onto her face. Maybe this was a dream.. Maybe this was a dream.  
Before she could get away from the camp, a smoke bomb erupted, and everyone was enveloped in thick, smoky air. Everyone scrambled out of their separate tents to see what the commotion was about.  
"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!!" A female voice cried.  
"AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!" A low male voice added.  
"TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!"  
"TO UNITE ALL PEOPLES WITHIN OUR NATION!"  
"TO PROTECT THE EVILS FROM TRUTH AND LOVE!"  
"TO ---"  
"Ah, shut up, we've heard this a million times..!" Ash drawled, dismissing Team Rocket with the wave of his hand.  
The magenta haired teen's (who's name Jessie) eyes softened for a moment. 'Oh, Ash..With his ridiculously messy hair..who's so ugly he's actually cute...with his abnormally short height..you never fail to steal my heart..*sigh*' Her eyes quickly hardened, putting on a malicious smirk.  
"Uh, if you don't mind me asking, who the hell interrupted my bath?!" Duo stood out in the open with nothing on. Heero quickly dashed over to his stupid ass of a lover and covered him with a towel.  
"No one looks at MY Duo but ME!" Everyone sweatdrops.  
"Who are they?" James asked, pointing at the five Gundam pilots.  
"WHO ARE WE?!" Wufei was about to begin another one of his stupid pride speeches again when Ash slurred, (he was drinking sake..) "Just take care of them Pikachu."  
However Duo picked up Wufei's speech. "Who are we? WHO ARE WE?! WE ARE GAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!" Duo screamed at the top of his lungs.  
Meowth smacked his paw against his head, 'This might take awhile.'  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: Again, we were pressed for time, so sorry about the abrupt ending. A very special thanx to gundam06serenity for the suggestion of putting Wu-man and Misty together. It turned out quite nicely. Uh, by the way we don't own Gundam Wing or Pokemon. Yeah, well, anyways.  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Yea, like she said, we were short on time so we had to make this a short one, but anyhoo, I hoped you liked it! We drank our last can of Coke to get high for this chapter! ^.^ (cHrRyBlSsM: o.O) We really had lots of fun writing this, so PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!! PLEASE???? WITH A CHERRY ON TOP??? 


	5. decoy chapter

ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!! PLEASE READ!!!!!  
  
NOTE:  
  
cHrRyBlSsM:  
Due to a recent review, we think it's necessary to make this announcement. First of all, Duo did not kill any of the dittos... Some of you out there seemed to get the idea that we were out to kill Pokemon because we think they're bad. Nope, that's not the idea we wished to give, and we just wanted to clear that up. To be honest, Pokemon are actually kind of cute. (CrYsTaLsNoW: and cool)  
Next, a recent review has commented that we also have something against gay/lesbian people. Truth be told, we have absolutely nothing against gay or lesbian people and the intention was not directed to make fun of them. We're not going to start any heated debate on gay/lesbian couples, and whether the idea is right or wrong, because that's just a waste of time, and it's most likely that people aren't going to change their minds on the matter. We absolutely see the reviewer's point of view, and we'd like to apologize for any misunderstanding.  
Thirdly, the G-boys in our fic. are certainly OOC. Actually, they are in character, we've just taken their personalities and pushed them to their extremes. It's not us that has something against gay/lesbian couples, but Wufei. Although this may sound stupid because Wufei isn't real, but if Wufei were really put into a situation like that, we feel he probably wouldn't be afraid to voice his opinion on the matter. Authors are supposed to get into their character's skin and ask themselves, "What would ______ say in this situation?" Although what we percieve to be the fitted response may not be what they would actually say, keep in mind that this is a humor fic. (CrYsTaLsNoW: We kinda pushed their personalities a little...and kinda twisted it, but like she said, it's a humor fic., and i'm sorry if it gave the wrong impression to the readers.) Fourthly, (this is directed to that reviewer...) we are perfectly content with the number of reviews we have recieved so far, and thank you for your concern.  
  
Also, even if these couples were heterosexual, we'd probably have them try to kill the Pokemon that are attacking their boyfriend/girlfriend. If the person you cared about most was being smothered, we'd certainly hope that you'd be out there trying to help them out. Again, keep in mind this is a humor fic.  
We're sincerely sorry that this has nothing to do with our story, but we felt the need to tell you guys that we absolutely have nothing against homosexual couples. To the reviewer that flamed us, I hope you're reading this...  
Again, thanks for a moment of you're time, and although we had to get through an obsticle for a moment there, it won't stop us from writing and/or changing the style of our writing. So, whether you like it or not, the next chapter is coming.  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW:  
Although we are posting this in response to that reviewer, we're not saying that the reviewer is right or wrong, he/she is entitled to his/her own opinion. And we will admit that we were wrong to focus so much on gay/lesbian couples. However, the harshness of the review was unnessecary. So we had felt it was mandatory to post this note to reveal our true intentions. (We would have e-mailed the reviewer, but he/she did not post his/her e-mail address)  
Also, cHrRyBlSsM and I have something to say about the "How would you feel if you were made fun of because of who you are, and the color of your hair," quote that was in the review. We understand that some of the dialogue has upset you, and that you may have perceived the wrong impression of our fic, however, we have no clue of how you got the idea that we we're racist (which we can assure you , we're not) and not only that, it had nothing to do with our fic. Not once in our story has it ever mentioned discrimination based on color, nationality, religion, or ethnicity, nor do we ever plan to. We know that as a reader, you can flame us, and tell us what you thought, as we said before, you are entitled to your opinion. HOWEVER, we also believe that those who do review us have no right to push that entitlement to the extent of accusing us of crimes we never committed. We believe those comments were completely irrational and unnecessary.  
Furthermore, we will not change the way we write, but we will make an effort to try not to focus so much on gay couples. We also want to remind you again that this is a humor fic, we wrote what we wrote for the sake of humor. All we wanted to do was make people laugh. To enjoy what we write, that's it. Nonetheless, just as we realized that it was wrong on our behalf that we to focus so much on gay couples, we hope that you realize as well that you were wrong to put such comments into your review.  
  
Once again, we are deeply sorry for the misunderstandings, and the wrong impressions given throughout our fic. 


	6. we dont kno wut to call this chapter

cHrRyBlSsM: okaay, this is like our 100th time movin' computers... sheesh, this fic. is taking too much dedication...!! but don't worry, as long as you guys review, we'll keep writing and continue to be devoted! haha, o.O  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: We've gone through desperate measures to continue this fic...we're in the computer lab and "supposedly" doing our "homework".....so technically, if we're caught we're screwed.... (cHrRyBlSsM: and we'll sue all u people) Don't worry, she was just kidding... (cHrRyBlSsM: no i wasn't) ... -.-; That lady that's in charge scares me...she looks too smart...she might find out.....I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS!!!! .  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: If you ask me CrYsTaLsNoW is overreacting, but w/e, let's juss start, kay? we're wasting too much time typing all this crap up. and we don't own GW or Pokemon, so here we go...  
  
chap. 4 ~ we don't know what to call this chapter...  
  
Duo: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! *Heero rolls his eyes, but plays along*  
  
Heero: *sigh* WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUP....  
  
Wufei: Shut up Maxwell, I don't know why the $#%* they asked me to do this commercial with a bunch of freaks, and they're censoring all the @#$%^ swears, so I dont' know why the $%^& I'm even @#$*& here.  
  
Quatre: Um, **getting stage fright**  
  
Trowa: .....  
  
Duo: Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah, we're advertising the video/DVD set of this fic! Uncensored, with a blooper reel, it's rated R 'cuz it's uncensored. Juss call 1-800-P-U-R-P-L-E-N-E-S-S, and if you call in the next ten minutes, we'll throw in Wufei!!!!  
  
Wufei: What the @#%$?! I refuse to be #$^& tossed into a !@#$% UPS cardboard %^$&@# box and be shipped to $%^# weak people!! THIS IS UNJUST AND WEAK!!!!!!! I HATE KIDS!!  
  
Heero: What do kids have anything to do with this?  
  
Duo: Looks like someone ain't gonna have any kids with their giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirlfriend!!! **holds up a picture of Misty**  
  
Wufei: ARGH!!!!!!! YOU #$@%^&!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: **faints**  
  
"So, what do you want this time? I already told you, you can't have Pikachu," Ash said tonelessly.  
"*AHEM* Who the hell are these freaks?" Wufei said impatiently.  
No one paid one shred of attention to Wufei as Heero said, "Do you want me to get rid of them?" As he finished his question he pulled out his guns, cocked, aimed, and ready. Everyone sweatdropped. Team Rocket went white as a Flaffy's butt. (CrYsTaLsNoW: hehe.... ^.^)  
*Attention* *ATTENTION* At the moment, we're having a small case of writer's block so mite as well.... Yea, anyway, cHrRyBlSsM is super pissed at me so I have to make this quick.... *glares* Anyway, I would like to take this time to advertise my lil' fic, ish called Silver Thread, and it's based on Yu Yu Hakusho. I haven't received many reviews so I haven't updated it in awhile...it's about Kurama and Hiei (yaoi), I need a lil' inspiration, if you would all be so kind, and read my fic and review, (flames are welcome) that would be great. And cHrRyBlSsM looks as if she's gonna kill me so I have to go, so Please Read My FIC!!!! hehe, thanx ^.^  
Anyways...  
"PIKACHUUUUUU!!!!!" Pikachu ignited and Team Rocket glowed a fierce yellow, as they of course, exploded and flew over a hundred feet in the air. (Have you ever wondered how the hell they survive after all those times of being blown up? This is so unrealistic, but we're going with the flow... I KNOW!! They're MUTANT TURTLES!! **sings** TEENAGE MUTANT NINGA TURTLES, TEENAGE MUTANT NINGA TURTLES!! *CrYsTaLsNoW smacks cHrRyBlSsM with a....turtle).  
"TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAaaaaaain...." Team Rocket's voice faded away as they became that little annoying spark in the sky. **ting**  
"That was a complete waste of my time," Wufei said as he made his way back to his tent.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"So how are we to get out of this place?" Quatre said the next morning.  
Duo was apparently not paying attention as he was singing the Pokemon theme at the top of his lungs.  
"EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A MASTER, EVERYBODY WANTS TO SHOW THEIR SKIIIIIIIIIILLL...." Thankfully, his voice began to drift away just as Duo hit the wrong note, the American pilot headed toward the pond for a.....bath *again* with Heero. To....spend some quality time...... (not like that you pervert!)  
The remainder of the company (which happened to be Quatre and Trowa) stared at eachother and shrugged. Guess they could discuss how to get home later...  
  
A few hours later...  
Everybody's hair was ruffled and clothes dishelved (except for Wufei of course, the poor guy) and they gathered around the pow wow. (Wufei: What the hell?)  
"Ummmm, guys, in case you haven't noticed, we've been stuck in this world for a day and I refuse to stay here ANYMORE," Wufei said loudly, avoiding Misty's eyes. (*awwwww*)  
Duo looked up and said, "Yeah, I kinda actually want to PLAY this game, not live in it...."  
Wufei glared angrily at Duo and was about to punch him in the face, as Heero flipped out a gun and cocked it menacingly at Wufei's head, while Trowa and Quatre sat contentedly on the sidelines, watching the scene, calmly sipping some tea. (don't ask me how they made the tea)  
"Well, in this world there are creatures called Pokemon, and Pokemon trainers go through all the gyms in order to become Pokemon masters. And I hope to become the greatest Pokemon Master EVER!!" Ash finished on a loud note, getting excited as he stood up to highlight his point. He eagerly glanced around him, noting the silence and the loud snoring (mainly from Duo), apparently everyone fell asleep...  
"GOT YA!!" Duo yelled as he sat up, and put on a confused look as he discovered that everyone else was REALLY asleep. He sweatdropped, and said quickly, "Okay, I guess I'll go to sleep too..."  
Misty got up from her seat and slapped each of the pilots clear across the face (and hesitated over Wufei's face... **awwwww, it's puppy luv!!** Wufei: NO! That is WEAK!!!!....but slapped him....hard).  
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Wufei roared. Misty dismissed him, and walked away calmly, ignoring the smoke coming from Wufei's (cute) ears.... (***awwwwwww***)  
"Yo, you guys get your grooooooooove on later, right now, we're trying to figure out how to get out of here...." Heero said monotonelessly.  
"Well, how do you win the game Duo?" Quatre asked, for he had already forgotten the concepts of Pokemon games.  
"Weeeeeeeelll, you first gotta win all eight badges and then ya gotta CATCH 'EM ALL!!.... And THEN, you go to the Pokemon Leauge, and you defeat the Elite Four, and it's supposed to have all these complications in it too, or something like that.... AND THEN, you go to Kanto and THEN you defeat even MORE gym leaders and THEN you go to Silver Cave, and defeat RED (or something like that, I forget), and THEN you're a Pokemon MASTER!!! **trumpets blare in the background "DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUH!!!!"**  
Everyone sweatdrops...again.  
"..." Trowa continued to uuuh, say....err, not say...anything.  
"YOU MEAN...! YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THOSE FUCKING WEAK CRAP IN ORDER TO GET OUT OF THIS INJUSTICE?!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONO...."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Four hours later... (everybody's eating lunch, ignoring Wufei, discussing the weather calmly among themselves)  
  
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO...."  
"Yeah, the weather really is nice today."  
"Yeah... Hey, where'd you get your shirt, I really like it."  
"Oh, this old thing? I picked it up at Target... I didn't think it worked with my eyes, but Heero insisted, sooo..."  
"Oh, really? So do you plan to go through all sixteen gyms?"  
"Ahhh, might as well, I mean, otherwise we'll be stuck here forever, right?"  
  
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO..." "Yeah, I don't think we want you here forever... No offense..."  
"Yeah, but don't we need like Pokemon or something?"  
"Uh huh, here, you guys can have a couple of pokeballs, courtesy of us, but you're gonna have to work out the money problem later.... We can't keep giving you freebees."  
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONO...Oh, thank you," Wufei stopped for a moment to accept the pokeball being handed to him, and stared at it, seeing the weak colors of the Love *hint, hint* Ball in front of him (It really is a kind of Pokeball, I play the Crystal Version...), "...IT'S PINK!! THE FUCKING THING IS PINK!!!! THIS IS WEAK!!!.....NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO...." Wufei began his chant again as he threw the Pokeball up in the air, and crossed his arms retaliatingly. The pink pokeball flew straight up into the air, and everyone watched in unison as the ball bonked Wufei on the head, knocking him unconscious, "NONONO- **BONK**"  
"Well, that's good ridance, I thought I was going to shoot him," Heero said.  
Everyone nodded, not wanting to interfere with Heero's train of thought.....  
"So, you guys ready to be a MASTER?" Ash said cornily. (dunno if "cornily" is a word, but WE'RE REVOLUTIONIZING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!! FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND RELIGION!!!! FOUR SCORES AND A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, OUR FOUNDING FATHERS WERE BORED, SO THEY CAME UP WITH THIS SPEECH THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)  
Everyone screams and runs away... (except for Trowa of course...)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ cHrRyBlSsM: hehehe, that was good. the ending was kinda off topic but hahaha!!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: yea, we're in school so mite as well, rite? ^.^  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: hahaaa... i've lost all my sanity! o.O but anyways, press that purplish (PURPLE!) button in the lower left-hand corner there, and click "go." PLEEZ REVIEW FOR OUR SAKES!! THANX!!! ^.~ 


	7. On the Road to Becoming a MASTER

CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness!! ^.^ yea, we decided to update this again while we're waiting for a friend to come over....she's a bit late (cHrRyBlSsM: A BIT?!), and we're bored, so why not? Oh, and by the way, We don't own Gundam Wing or Pokemon.  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yea, I'm here tooooooo. I'm gonna kill her when she gets over here (omae o korosu), so yea, before she gets here, here we goooo....  
  
chap. 5 ~ On the Road to becoming a MASTER  
  
His vision blurred as he regained consciousness. As it began to focus, Wufei saw a familiar redhead hovering over him.  
"*pause* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO - " Misty shook her head, smiling.  
"Stupid guy." She swooped down and covered his lips with an unmistakable kiss. Wufei's onyx eyes widened, as his mind went frozen. ALT + CTRL + DELETE (do ya get it?? ish like a computer, hehe). The pilot's face didn't change expression as the silence stretched between him and the smiling Misty.  
He smirked, "Stupid onna, you have horrible timing. What did I tell you about that?" He froze suddenly (no, not like a computer) into a wild look. He vigorously wiped his mouth, "ACK!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO **BLEH!!** NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!! A WEAK ONNA JUST KISSED ME!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!"  
Misty looked furious, "What have I told YOU about calling me weak?! I have a name you know, and it's not 'onna' it's MISTY, YOU JERK!!!!" She was about to punch him across the face, when Duo suddenly popped in beside her, giggling uncontrollably.  
"Wufei and Misty sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE, then comes the BABY in the BABY CARRIAGE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ...Ewww, I'd hate to see your kids.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Even worse, I'd hate to see you DOING it...... **thinks about it** ........AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
Simultaneously blushing furiously, the two turned around to face Duo.  
  
"SHUT UP!!"  
Duo finished off a giggle and said, "Haha, WHATEVER, let's get going, it's already lunch time and WE NEED TO CATCH 'EM ALL!!!" With those final words, he turned his back and ran off to find Heeeeeeeeeeeeee-chan.  
"Wow, he's actually going to be late for lunch," Wufei snorted.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ **Elevator music blares happily in background**  
  
Duo: Hola mi amigos!!  
  
Trowa (tonelessly): Bonjour.  
  
Quatre: åÊÇÝ ááÊÑÍíÈ (Arabic) (sry if it came out screwed up)  
  
Heero: Konnichiwa.  
  
Wufei (reluctantly): Nee-hao.  
  
Everyone except Trowa: ............  
  
**Everyone turns to stare at Trowa**  
  
Duo: Dude, Trowa talked!!  
  
Quatre: **in tears** I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!  
  
Wufei: You. Are. So. WEAK. REAL MEN do NOT cry.  
  
**Trowa sneaks up behind Wufei and punches him unconscious**  
  
Trowa: .........  
  
Heero: Good riddance. Get on with the commercial Duo.  
  
Duo: 'kay 'kay my dear.  
  
**Everyone sweatdrops** (except for Quatre who says AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW)  
  
Duo: ANYWAYS. We're advertising GAY BUMPER STICKERS!!!!! Don't be afraid to show your pride!!!!  
  
Heero: ....And they're purple too.  
  
Quatre: .....**GASP** REALLY?! I WANT ONE!!!! **Tugs on Trowa's sleeve* Ne? Tro-kun?  
  
Trowa: ...... **walks up to the cash register and hands the cashier dude some money**  
  
**CACHING**  
  
Quatre: Cool, it says "Purple Pride"!!! Let's put it on my Lamborghini Murciélago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: hehe...and I'm putting it on my Ferrari 575 M Maranello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone sweatdrops, thinking, "Are those even real cars??!"**  
  
Wufei: What the $%&^???? YOU #$@% WEAK &*^% PEOPLE!!! BUYING &*%#$% PURPLE BUMPER STICKERS!!!!!!  
  
Duo: Dude, I thought we knocked him out....  
  
Heero: Pity.  
  
Quatre: Duo, aren't we advertising this? So where's the number and stuff?? And how much???  
  
Duo: Oh yea, about that. Ummm...let's see..**looks down on a purple post- it note** Uhhh...ok, for each one it costs like a bajillion dollars, and if you want one call our handy dandy gay company at: 1-800-P-U-R-P-L-E-N-E- S-S.  
  
Quatre: **flips out his wallet and accidentally smashes Wufei's nose** OH ALLA!!! I'M SO SORRY WUFEI!!  
  
Wufei: **clutching his bleeding nose** No you're not....  
  
Quatre: ....true.... **Everyone sweatdrops** Anyway, how much is that in dirhams??? (That's Arabic currency/money)  
  
Wufei: What the $%^& do you HAVE in that wallet????  
  
Quatre: Oh. What do I have in this one? 'Cause I've got like 29 more at home...one from each sister....Um, anyways, what do I have in THIS one? **opens wallet** I've got...money..duh...my keys, and I've got like fifty keys, 'cause I've got like fifty mansions around the world... **Everyone sweatdrops**  
  
Duo (turns to Trowa): How do you memorize which key goes which what mansion?  
  
Trowa: .....  
  
Quatre(continues to ramble on):...and then I've got 29 pictures, one for each sister **flips out row of pictures, which tumbles down to the floor in a long never-ending line**...and then...I've got my good luck charm...but you don't need to know what that is... ummmm....ahhh...a packet of dried, preserved food, ya know, in case I'm stranded in the desert or something.....oh, and my compass, 'cause my sisters are all so worried that I'm gonna get lost, I mean, come on, it's just sand and sun out in the desert, it's not THAT hard...  
  
Heero: Guys, the directors' waving at us, and she's mouthing something...I can't tell....  
  
**Directors waving hands madly, jumping up and down, as if insane**  
  
Quatre: Hm?  
  
Wufei: Argh, it's those @#$%^ weak women again....  
  
Duo: I tink they're saying the time's up or -  
  
**STATIC**  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Ummm...yea, ummm....ugh, i can't believe i'm saying this.....uh, yea, you guys, just in case you don't know, the Purple Bumper Stickers aren't REAL so PLEASE don't call the Purpleness company.....yea....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"POKEBALL GO!!!" Duo screamed madly. Everyone has their heads bowed and hands over their ears. They had just finished lunch, and of course, Duo insisted on starting to "Catch 'Em All"....much to everyone's dismay....  
The pokeball shook, and the lil' button thingy in the middle flashed and beeped. However, the Ditto popped out of the ball with ease. Ash smacked his forehead,  
"Hey, you're suppose to weaken it first..." Duo turned to him, flipped out his gun and put on a malicious smile.  
"Ok...." He turned back around to face the pinkish blob that was squeaking on the grass.  
"The God of Death shall be your downfall.....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AAHHAHAHAH...." Wufei kicked him in the shin, and abruptly Duo stopped his chant and gazes tearfully at him.  
"**sniff** YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!" Wufei snorted.  
"I am not."  
"Meanie."  
"Am not"  
"Are too."  
"Am not"  
"Are too."  
"Am NOT"  
"Are TOO!" Quatre coughed nervously, and the two bickering G-Boys turned to him.  
"WHAT???!!!" Frightened from the outburst, Quatre points in the other direction and whispers weakly,  
"Umm...the Ditto left awhile ago..."  
Duo's eyes widened in dispair and then quickly into anger, as he swung his head violently to face his fellow overly proud/last member of Dragon Clan/has issues with women, Chinese pilot. However, as his head quickly turned, the momentum had gained in his braid, which contacted with Wufei's nose.  
"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS IT WITH WEAK PEOPLE AND HITTING MY NOSE!!! THIS IS INJUST!!! THIS IS..."  
"Weak..." Everyone said monotonously.  
"YES!! AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU ARROGANT SON OF A..."  
"Bitch..."  
"YES!!!! AND I, WUFEI CHANG, THE LAST OF THE - "  
"Dragon Clan..."  
"YES!!!!!! SHALL PUNISH HIM AND BRING HIM TO - "  
"Justice...."  
"YES!!!!"  
Quatre's temper was reaching his end (that's saying a lot), and he forcefully muttered, "Wufei?"  
"YES?!!!"  
"Shut the hell up."  
Everyone gasped and whirled, eyes goggling at the obscene language coming from gentle, SOPHISTICATED, kind-hearted Quatre.  
"Wow..." Duo whispered hauntedly.  
"Um, I hate to break up the party, but can we get a move on? We're about ten days behind what we had planned...." Brock said slowly, not wanting to endanger his life.  
"Yea...I haven't gotten any Johto badges yet, and I bet Gary's got like fifty bajilion badges already..." Ash murmured under his breath.  
"There's no such word as 'bijilion' nitwit," Misty retorted.  
"Whatever." Ten days later....  
"WE STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE!!!!" A few more days later...  
"WE NEEEEED TO GET A MOVE ON!!!" The day after that....  
"OKAY!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!" A week after that....  
"OKAY SOLDIER!!! MOVE THAT BIG, GAY, USED BUTT OF YOURS!!"  
"Used? What do you mean by used?"  
Misty groaned, eyes rolling in dispair, "OoooOOoh boy..." Two days after that....  
"ALRIGHT!!!!....oh, why do I even try...?" The day after that...IN THE GYM.  
Ash looked around at the blaring spotlights hanging from the hundered foot ceiling, "Wow, we're actually here."  
"You just had to make that rest stop, didn't you Duo?" Heero asked.  
"WELL, when you got to go you got to go, and I REALLY had to go."  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
"Yeah, well, you were in there for a long time..." Heero said thoughtfully.  
Falder gazed at the huge mob gathered at the entrance of the gym. "Which one of you is going to battle me?"  
Duo's eyebrows quirked anxiously as shouted triumphantly, "I AM!!"  
Ash turned to Duo, face set, "NO! I came all this way, and it was YOU who was holding me up all this time, and YOU who went potty in the middle of the woods so many times and YOU who decided to have horny thoughts in the middle of the bushes!!!"  
Quatre blushed a furious red, for unknowingly to Ash, he and his beautiful Tro-kun too had those "thoughts"...  
"SO I WILL BATTLE FALDER, END OF STORY!!!" Falder whispered feebly,  
"I would like to have this battle today please..."  
Duo smirked, the rusty gears in his brain turning, "Obviously there is only one way to solve this!!"  
Everyone sweatdropped, and made a frantic run towards the fence outside of the gym, afraid that Duo would unleash the very pit of Hell, releasing granades, guns, and only the God of Death knows what else...  
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!!!"  
Ash raised his eyebrows in question, with his familiar, I'm-going-to- beat-you-look, but nodded, DETERMINED, "Alright."  
Everyone else, who had taken refuge behind the thankfully SOLID fence, listened attentively, hearing nothing...  
"Are they dead?" Quatre asked in a hushed whisper.  
Brock and Misty stared at him in horror. Wufei grunted angrily, "Why the hell am I taking refuge behind a weak fence?! I am -"  
Heero gave Wufei a death glare, silencing him. Heero slowly stood up, eyes barely over the fence, and loud shouting voices were heard.  
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS-"  
With the last word, Duo pulled out a mini-gun, and maliciously murmured, "Shoot."  
Brock and Misty ran out from their shelter, towards the limp body of the forever ten-year-old boy that's been in like fifty bajilion series and never seems to grow up. GEEZ, WHAT ABOUT PUBERTY MAN?! IT WOULD MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING!!! WHAT ABOUT HORMONES??! **GASP** WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN WE'RE NOT THERE??? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. **ahem** Where were we? Oh yes...  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" Misty shrieked frantically.  
"Ah, don't worry," Duo said casually, rolling his eyes.  
"DON'T WORRY?! DON'T WORRY!!!!?? YOU JUST SHOT HIM YOU IDIOT!!! OH MY GOD!!!"  
"**ahem**, that's God of Death thank you, and besides, I didn't think it was his time yet, so I just thought it'd be easier to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun..."  
Everyone facefaults, and Falder sweatdrops, watching the violent scene, having a slight sense that he was being ignored.  
Duo stepped into the little box outlined with cheap playground chalk, feet set firmly in the loose dirt. Dust swirled furiously around everyone, making eyes water and mad coughing sounding through the arena like a dying donkey. (donkey=ass in Shakespearean words....hehe). "I am the Shinigami, and I will **cough, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH**"  
Falder stared into the air, picking his ear with his pinky, ignoring the American. "Uh huh..."  
"**HACK HACK HACK**"  
"That's nice" Falder took out a mini pokeball from his pocket and pressed the lil' white button thingy and it grew into a regular sized ball. (Everyone: OoooOOOoooOOo!! AAAaaaAAh!!)  
"Go Pidgeotto!!!" The bird formed in a flash of light.  
"DUDE!!! HOW DO YOU GUYS DO THAT???!! THAT WAS SOOO KNARLY MAN!!!" Duo sang shrilly.  
"You sound like surfer...who has a lack of education." Wufei muttered.  
"DUDE!!"  
"Send out your pokemon." Falder said with his I'm-a-leader-so-do- what-I-say-right-NOW voice. Duo turned to face him, with a confused expression.  
"Hm? What Pokemon??" Falder sweatdropped and dropped his head in a hopeless expression.  
"Please tell me you have Pokemon..."  
"I just wanted to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THE GOD OF DEATH IS THE MASTER OF THE MIGHTY ROCK, PAPER, AND SCISSOR GAME!!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!" The orchestra behind the stands crecendoed with its famous Pokemon battle theme. Falder sighed,  
"What did I do to deserve this..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: hehe, we're leavin' a cliffy rite there.... I know we haven't been around for quite awhile, so....  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: yea...so we're kinda out of practice, but hey, I hope you guys enjoy it anyway....hehe ^.^;  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: REVIEW!!! hehe....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ cHrRyBlSsM: Because we've been gone for so long, we feel like you guys deserve this lil' SMALL side story....it's got to do with current events, so I hope you've all been watching the news....  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Yup, we watched this lil' particular event on the Student News on CNN. heheheheheheee, hope you guys enjoy it, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!!  
  
Heero peacefully sipped his coffee, sunlight streaming through the open windows of the Winner Mansion, where everyone had decided to (as the teenage lingo would say) "crash."  
Duo bounced into the room, newspaper (purely 100% recycled paper) in his mouth, like those dumb brainless dogs that fetch the paper for their masters, wagging their tail, not realizing the amount of ink seeping into their mouth. Heero gazed at his lover, eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.  
"Duo, get the paper out of your mouth, it's disgusting. Besides, I don't want a newspaper-flavored kiss..."  
Quatre, who was sitting in the same room, nodded strongly, and then thought for a few seconds, then blushed.  
Trowa said...errr...said nothing, "...."  
Duo sniffed the air and removed the soggy paper from his mouth and began to flip through its damp pages.  
There was silence in the air for a few minutes, when suddenly Duo piped up, "Hey, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-chan?"  
"Hn?"  
"Let's go to San Francisco!!"  
"Why?"  
"The mayor and Mr. Governator is fighting it out for gay and lesbian rights, and right now, they're allowing gay marriages!!"  
"Are you proposing?" Everyone looks up expectantly, but then quickly looked down, knowing very well about Duo's style of surprises. Quatre glanced around him, half-expecting a full-blown orchestra complete with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake singing some kind of "hip" love song, which in his opinion half the time, screamed of sex...  
  
"Baka..." Wufei muttered quietly, face turning green, imagining their marriage.  
Duo blushed, and looked down at the floor, turning his foot in circles. "Ummm....OH FORGET IT!!!" He jumped from his chair and glomped Heero, "MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"  
Heero gave Duo a skeptical look, and Duo added beggingly, giving him puppy dog eyes "Please?" Heero rolled his eyes,  
"Ok...." Duo's face came alight with joy, and he joyfully pranced around the room like a little easter bunny, while Wufei muttered,  
"That was the most pitiful proposal I've ever seen..." Quatre glanced at him questioningly and tentatively asked,  
"Umm, Wufei, what do you KNOW about proposals??" He smiled as the Chinese boy blushed as he remembered his former wife Nataku. Duo continued to dance screaming loudly,  
"WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED, WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED!!!!!" Heero glared at his bouncing lover and said monotonously,  
"But first, you're gonna get a ring and then get down on your knees and do it properly..."  
"OKIE!!!.....Um, Quatre?"  
"Hm?"  
"Can I borrow some cash?"  
"Why?"  
"I spent all my money on booze last night..."  
"Say no more," Quatre sighed as he pulled out his wallet #23, smacking Wufei on the nose.  
"WHAT THE HELL?!! blah blah blah" And as Wufei started another "What the Hell??!!" speech, everyone turned away and tuned him out. Later that day...  
Duo inhaled deeply, a pressed suit firmly on his shoulders, and slowly bent down on one knee, in front of his still-in-spandex-shorts-and- green-tank-top lover. He cleared his throat, and before he could get the words out, Heero stated, "You're not drunk right?"  
"Hee-chan, you just COMPLETELY ruined the moment!!....By the way, why do you ask?"  
"Because you smell like booze, and besides, we're not just going to go down to Vegas for our honeymoon, and divorce the next morning right?" Duo gave him a questioning glance and Heero elaborated,  
"I saw it in the news last night, and Britney Spears was acting like an idiot again and somehow, someway married a guy obliviously and then divorced him the next day."  
"Wow, she's a lot stupider than I thought." And everyone nods in the background. While the two-now engaged fiances talked it out, Quatre shyly turned to his lover who was watching the amusing scene.  
"Ano...Tro-kun?"  
"....."  
"Umm....well..."  
"....."  
"You...mean everything to me...and I've always wanted to be by your side no matter what happens....so...eto....so...I thought it would be nice to make it official.....Will you marry me?"  
"..." **nods** Quatre's eyes glisten with tears of happiness. However, unfortunately Duo overheard this touching speech and shrieks  
"OH WOW!!! WE CAN MAKE THIS A DOUBLE MARRIAGE!!!! OH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN..." Wufei groans and smacks his forehead with his hand.  
"...One gay marriage was torturous enough, but TWO?!!!" Heero glared at him but instead of giving his famous 'Omae wa korosu' quote, he said,  
"Hn. Let's go to San Francisco before the Terminator bans gay marriages."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	8. some chapter

cHrRyBlSsM: WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THE REVIEWERS GO???!! ONE MINUTE WE HAD AT LEAST LIKE THREE....NOW WE HAVE NONE!!! WHAT IS THIS???? A CONSPIRACY???? I FEEL SO HATED!!!!!!! :sniff: **hiccup**  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!******** WE AREN'T GETTING ANY REVIEWS!!! WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: but i guess since we have too much fun, and...well....if u guys don't want us to write just say so....:sniffle: but we're gonna write this chappie anyways.... so we don't own any of it. okay? yea...:sniff: here we go....  
  
chap. 6 ~ some chapter...  
  
(NOTE: Falder is actually Falkner, but we're too lazy to change it, so deal w/ it.... ^-^)  
  
The spotlights were growing intensely hot as time dragged by, Falder continuously waiting for Duo to send out his first Pokemon. Duo turned his head which way and that, as if anyone else would have the answer to his problem. Unfortunately, his only answer to the problem was lying unconscious on the gym floor.  
Suddenly, an arm grabbed at his leg, and Duo looked down to find a pale Ash staring with huge eyes, "Let....me......battle......" He muttered those words before blacking out again. Meanwhile, Falder had pulled up a lawnchair, sitting comfortably flipping through a newspaper.  
"Attendant!" The attendant shook himself from his slumber, making his way to Falder, "Yessir?"  
"Coffee please, I don't care what kind, surprise me," he said lazily. The Attendant saluted and made his way to the local cafe. (Lucky guy).  
Duo stared at the unconscious Ash awhile before an idea suddenly popped into his head. He reached down to Ash's belt and plopped out a red and white pokeball, "I'll just borrow this...." The baka turned around and smiled maliciously. He yelled out, "Oi, Falkner!!"  
"Hm?" Falder looked up from his newspaper, with his half moon reading glasses popped on his nose, with a smoking cup of coffee in his hand. Falkner sighed and took out a pipe. Duo's eyes widened,  
"Dude, you smoke?!" Not answering, Falder began to "smoke"....and bubbles plopped out, with a joyful popping noise. Duo facefaulted,  
"A-a, bubble pipe?!" Finally looking at Duo, Falder says,  
"Yea so? I don't smoke, so might as well try the next best thing."  
Duo nodded and fiddled with the pokeball in his hand, and pressed the lil' button thingy, enlarging its size and girl-ishly threw it onto the gym floor, creating as much dramatism as he could. (which wasn't much)  
"POKEBALL!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Duo no baka...." Heero muttered on the sidelines, growing impatient with each turn the gym match was taking. Quatre kept himself occupied by sending flirtatious glances in Trowa's direction, Trowa quickly turned away, with a small healthy shade of pink on his cheeks. (awwww..)  
Wufei was busy frustratingly bonking his head repeatedly on the gym walls, causing cracks to slowly appear. Misty "busily" gave herself a manicure, hey, this is precious time here.... Brock, however, was in the far corner, with an Easy Bake Oven close by, clearly trying out new recipes.  
Duo, not realizing that no one was paying attention to him, anxiously waited for the pokemon to come out of the pokeball. Falder watched, clearly bored, and in a flash of light, a cute lil' Chikorita came out of the ball.  
"Chika!!" With the lil' cute lil' leaf on her head waving, she eagerly turned around expecting to see her master. When her gaze fell upon Duo, and seeing her master unconsious, her eyes lit up with fury.  
"CHIKA!! Chika, chika, chika, chikaaa..." Duo raised a confused eyebrow,  
"Ah? What was that?"  
"Chika, chika, chika.."  
"For some reason, i can't understand you..." Suddenly Duo let out a high pitched scream as boulder sized leaves came hurling his way. The attack paused a moment, and as the leaves narrowly passed him and his precious braid, he saw a clear view of Chikorita charging at him, ready to tackle this mysterious person that had summoned her to an unknown match.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! POKEMON RETURN!!!!!" Duo panicked as the little red laser missed the Chikorita, and let out an "Ompf!!" as the small green...pokemon tackled him to the ground. He desperately tried again, missing....again...  
"THE THING'S AT CLOSE RANGE AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GET IT BACK IN?!" Wufei yelled impatiently.  
"Ah, shuddup, go back to banging your hollow head on the wall Wufei!!!!" Duo hollered back, trying again and again to contain the frantic Pokemon.  
"OH MY GOD!!!!" Falder got up from his lawnchair, apparently his temper had reached its boiling point, "I GIVE UP!!!!!!!! JUST HAVE THIS STUPID ZEPHYR BADGE AND GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!" With the last words, he threw the tiny badge at Chikorita's head, landing squarely on its forehead. The pokemon went limp as it lost consciousness and Duo glared at the killing machine, then smiled gayily as he trounced on over to Falder, hugging him, squealing, "YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Heero placidly walked over to the suffocating Falder, shoving away the restraining of Quatre's and Trowa's hold. He drew out another gun and pointed it at Falder's head, "Omae o korosu...." Duo blushed and let go of Falder (who was a pretty bluish color....), "Hee-chan! It's okay!!"  
Wufei continued to bam his head against the weak plaster walls, and the cracks gradually continued to spread throughout the gym ceiling and walls. Everyone paused from their "activities" to watch as the oh so very interesting cracks ran up and down. They continued to stupidly watch as the structure began to crumble and deteriorate in front of their eyes, threatening to smash them with the huge concrete slabs.  
With a brilliant stroke of luck, each piece of rock and metal missed EACH and EVERY person in the gym, leaving them standing in the holes of the rubble, astounded, not daring to move, as the rest of the building may very well collapse on them.  
Finally, the dust cleared, and the group was left, covered in dirt and soot, surrounded by rock and rubble. Falder stared wide-eyed at the remaints of his beautiful, prized gym that he had worked oh so hard for.... (actually, he bought it for 50% retail....from this thug in a dark ally) but that's besides the point...  
Wufei gazed half-heartedly at Falder, "I hope you have good insurance...."  
Falder's eyes went blood-red as he turned on Wufei, "YOU..... SHALL PAY...."  
Quatre gasped dramatically, expecting the life sentence for his friend, while Trowa patted his back encouragingly, holding out a paperbag in case he decided to hyperventilate....  
"....FOR THE DAMAGES!!!!" Everyone facefaulted as Falder glared at them, "YOU THINK THIS IS A LAUGHING MATTER????!!!! THIS ISN'T A CHEAP GYM MAN!!!! THIS IS GYM IS LIKE.....A BAJILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Wufei snorted, "Bullshit."  
Falder's eyes narrowed, "Attendants!!!" He snapped his fingers, and the ashen faced attendents scurried over, and handed Wufei the bill.  
The bill was the size of a playing card as Wufei took it, "This is it??" However, he found the edges were folded, and he unfolded it (wow...) and the paper fell down a bajillion feet. Going across the road, down the highway, into the ocean, TO NORTH AMERICA, THE LAND OF THE FREE!!!! (WE THE PEOPLE....SHALL SEEK LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PERSUIT OF HAPPINESS....but of course, the persuit of happiness has so offended the people, that it has been changed to the protection of property...).  
Everyone looked curiously at the bill and Wufei dropped it, yelling, "RUN!!" The group dashed, screaming like weak onnas, all except for Trowa of course, who had patiently slung the unconscious Ash over his shoulder, continuing to trot, following his companions on this weird adventure.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: well, that was pretty fun... wish we had reviews. :sniff:  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: ZzzzZZZZzzzz....must sleep.....zzzZZzzzZZzzz......please...review 


	9. a fork in the road to disaster

cHrRyBlSsM: well, well, here we are for yet another chapter of Pokemon Purple Version. Of course we've got so much support.... -_- but anyways, it's spring break!! Whee heeee!! Now we'll have more time for this wonderful story... well, we don't own anything, so u can't sue us!! o.O  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness!! Yes...uh, here's another chappie... I dunno wut else to say, so...yea, wutever.... ^.^;;;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
chap. 7 ~ a fork in the road to disaster  
  
They panted as they screeched to a halt in front of a fork in the road.  
"I...think....we got.....away...." Wufei gasped (constipatedly). (sry to those wufei fans out there!! ^.~)  
Duo, who wasn't winded at all, cheerfully bounced around, happy that that particular predicament was over.  
"Soooo guys, which way do we go??"  
One side was a cheerful, rainbow path filled with lollipops and pretty flowers, lined with stuffed teddy bears. The other fork had a sign over it...  
"What's the sign say?" Ash asked, squinting his eyes in an attempt to (look like Brock) read the firey words.  
Duo gazed at the words, and smiled evily, "It says, 'Gateway to Hell.'" He paused for a moment before squeaking, "Sounds good to me!! Let's GO!!"  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, everyone erupted into argument. Comments flung this way and that, each person having his or her own opinion on the matter. (except for Trowa, who didn't give a damn where they were to go.)  
Heero slapped Duo on the back of his head, saying sharply, "NO Duo, that way is dangerous! We must go through the pink path." He pointed his index finger at the gayful path to emphasize his meaning.  
Wufei snapped back, "ARE YOU KIDDING?! That way is the WEAK way!! If we are to go down today, let us go down like MEN!!"  
Duo looked at the crowd around him, and pointed at Misty, "What about her?"  
"TO HELL WITH HER!!"  
Duo smiled happily and cheered, "OKAY!!" With that he picked up Misty and attempted to throw her down the "The Gateway to Hell." (Get it? Yes we're so funny! ^.^)  
However, Misty retaliated, and bonked Duo firmly on the head, making stars fly around his head. **tweet tweet**  
Quatre stared at his feet, and mumbled, "I dunno, I kinda like the pink path...."  
Everyone gave him a deathglare, except for Trowa of course....  
"How about this?" Brock interjected, before a rumble would break out.  
Everyone immediately shut up and looked expectantly at the squinty- eyed teenager. Brock cleared his throat sophisticatedly, "Alright.... Well, how about this?? Each of us just makes up his...OR HER...." He added as Misty glared at him, "Umm... his or her own mind about which way to go... so yea...."  
Duo smiled happily, "OKAY!!" And so the next chapter in this wacko story begins....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Duo: Umm, hey guys.... :sniff: :sniff: (Quatre sobs in the background). Unfortunately... the Purpleness Company has been disbanded, thanks to the complaint of a CERTAIN SOMEONE. **stares at Wufei**  
  
Wufei: It wasn't $%^& me!! And besides, it was a !@#%$ weak company anyway...  
  
Heero: It was her. **points to a voodoo doll of Misty, which has pins stuck in it from all sorts of angles**  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Quatre: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
**Trowa pats him comfortingly** (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)  
  
Duo: SOOOO, I put up my own business!!!  
  
Everyone except for Duo and Trowa: YOU DID???!!  
  
Wufei: Brace yourselves....  
  
Heero: We're gonna go out of business....  
  
Quatre: REALLY?! THAT'S WONDERFUL!! **everyone sweatdrops**  
  
Duo: YA!! It's called the STRAIGHT AND CO.!!  
  
Wufei: **looks up hopefully** You're actually encouraging non-gayness? Interesting....it goes against your own $%&^ principles.  
  
Duo: **looks hurt** Well, our first product that's out is....  
  
**DRUM ROLL**  
  
Duo: Straightness!!  
  
Heero: What?  
  
Duo: A magazine silly!! And in it, you will find the "Top 20 Reasons Why Straights Should Go Gay."  
  
Wufei: What the $%^&??  
  
**Everybody facefaults**  
  
Quatre: COOL!! But....why should I buy it then? I'm already gay....  
  
Duo: YA!! I know! BECAUSE it's for people like Wufei!! **Wufei takes out his katana, and Heero takes out his gun, which results in Wufei grabbing Heero, begging, "Shoot me."** Plus, there's another "Top 20 Reasons Why Not To Be Straight"!!  
  
Quatre: Oh really??  
  
Duo: Twelve prescriptions are only a bajillion dollars!!  
  
Quatre: Count me in!!  
  
Duo: ALSO, with your first twelve issues, you're automatically registered for the "Be Nice to Straight People Club"!! They don't know what they're missing!! Your initiation into this club includes having to hug a straight guy!!  
  
**Wufei looks merrily around him, then all of a sudden, realizes that he's the only straight guy in the commercial, and turns stark white**  
  
**Quatre gayily marches up to Wufei, and hugs him, then pops up with a circular, colorful sticker that reads, "I Hugged A Straight Guy Today!"**  
  
Quatre: Yay! I'm in the club now!!  
  
Duo: So, buy today!! The number is: 1-800-B-E-G-A-Y  
  
Wufei: I thought this was supposed to be a @#$%&^ straight company??!!  
  
Duo: **shrugs** Too bad.  
  
**Heero waves around a little purple flag**  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And so, our little gay troupe travels along the lollipop path, taking the easy way out apparently... But anyways, our victims...I mean....contestants....consist of Quatre, Trowa (who had followed along), Heero (who had reluctantly separated from Duo), and Brock (who had decided to play it safe).  
And so, they travel happily along, minding their own business, when suddenly a house fell from the sky, making a huge dent in the cheap paint. The smoke clears, and everyone ceases coughing. The house is black and white, like in the olden days, and soon, the black and whiteness spreads throughout the world, blanketing everything in the old, custom black and white. (Ya know, in the olden days, in TV, everything was black and white? Don't worry, it'll all make sense soon...)  
Everyone (in unison) looks up at the now-gray sky, then down at the house, and up again. They stupidly shrug and waltz right into the house, smart huh?  
But anyways, our SMART contestants look around the house, scouraging for food. When suddenly, the house started spinning, like a washing machine on high... They spun and spun and spun....Quatre screaming madly above the din of the flying house. (Does this sound familiar to our audience?? But no matter, we will continue their wonderful spinning experience after we have a look at our other victims....I mean...contestants....)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And so, the our other group, the adventurous, stupid, suicidal moronic group, go through the gates of "Hell." (which it very well will turn into... AHAHAHA).  
Duo, who had donned a black cape and a scythe, led our stupid group through the flames.....of Hell. MWAHAHAHAHAHA... Ash (who had decided that he could be adventurous of course), Wufei (who can't stand weak choices, and decided that this was for the better of course...), and Misty (thinking that she must prove herself to her future husband-to-be, and everybody else of course...) led the back.  
Our group continues to walk confidently down the path, when suddenly a deep, trembling voice is heard over the void, proclaiming, "Prepare yourself, you shall face your worstest (nice vocabulary)... fears!!"  
What doom faces our vict-heroes??!! Find out soon, after we figure out what happened to our sissy, spinning group...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Pretty soon, everyone in the spinning house of black and white was a nice shade of green (oh, wait, they can't be green....how about grey instead??). They land with a nice "thump" on the spongy grass. Heero looked around, not knowing why or how everyone around him had disappeared. He shrugged indifferently and walked out of the house, looking around at his now colorful surroundings.  
Without knowing how or why, he blurted, "Todo, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." He made a face at his own words, and asked no one in particular, "Why the hell did I just say that?" He looked down at his feet, finding a black puppy barking its mad head off.  
"Omae o korosu..." he pulled out a gun from his blue checkered dress....hold on!! WHAT BLUE CHECKERED DRESS??? Shut up, it's part of the story...  
But anyways, Heero pulls the trigger, and the dog goes limp. That annoying, twinkling star comes down from the now-blue sky, (how is there a star in the middle of the day??) and a nice, pretty, oversized lady (dude, go on SLIMFAST) in an oversized dress steps down from the glittering haven, smiling a large, oversized smile, carrying a totally fake, oversized plastic wand, covered in plastic glitter and confetti, that was stuck together with Elmer's Glue. (We don't own Elmer's Glue...)  
Who is this mysterious, oversized lady, and where has everyone else gone?? Find out in the next two paragraphs, for we need to check up on our suicidal contestants.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"EXCUSE ME, but I don't HAVE wortest fears....!!" Wufei stuttered to the anon-ny-mous (helps w/ spelling!) voice.  
"Yea!" chorused Misty. Wufei shot her a deathglare.  
"BRING IT ON!!" Duo cheered happily.  
"As you wish...." The voice mysteriously finishes and our vic-heroes wait....and wait....and wait...until they cannot wait no more (no, they do not have to go to the bathroom)....but they wait anyways.....and wait....OH TO HELL WITH IT, HERE IT COMES.  
And so, a happy, gay, ragtime piano tune merrily plays. Plays a very familiar tune....and sweet childish voices accompany the childish tune.  
"I LOVE YOU....YOU LOVE ME....WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY...." Everyone turns ghostly white. Wufei shrieks,  
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"  
And so the games begin, may the best man win....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Who are you?" Heero asks bluntly.  
"I, dear child, am the good witch of the west. And you have saved the dear munchkins from their doom...for your house just sat on her."  
  
"Her?"  
  
"Yes child....."  
  
"Who's she?"  
  
"I'm getting to that...."  
  
"...."  
  
"She...."  
  
"..."  
  
"Is...."  
  
"...."  
  
"...the...."  
  
"...."  
  
"WICKED..."  
  
":stares at watch on wrist:"  
  
"...wItCh"  
  
"..."  
  
"OF!!"  
  
"..."  
  
"SOME FUCKING DIRECTION ON THE COMPASS!!!" (sry guys, we forget what direction...)  
  
**Heero facefaults**, then adds, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!! YOU KEPT ME WAITING ALL THAT TIME, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DAMN DIRECTION IT IS??"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"HELL YEA!!"  
  
"Alright, dear belligerent child, you make one up yourself then!"  
  
"I WILL!! SOUTHWEST!!"  
  
"Okay then, the Wicked Witch of the Southwest. But 4-1-1 hun, you just saved the happy munchkins from her, honeybun."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"THE WICKED WITCH OF THE SOUTHWEST DAMN IT!"  
  
**An annoying music plays**  
  
"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!"  
  
"WHICH OLD WITCH?"  
  
"THE SOUTHWEST WICKED WITCH!"  
  
"DING DONG THE WICKED SOUTHWEST WITCH IS DEEEEAAADD!!"  
  
"DING DONG..."  
  
Heero stared blatantly at the munchkins, "Someone answer the doorbell, it's been ringing for quite awhile now..."  
  
"DING DONG...!"  
  
"There it goes again..."  
  
Among the mass of colorful, short munchkins, stood another munchkin, but this munchkin had the head of a familiar face. Brock.  
He was happily dancing with his hands in the air, waving his arms madly around him...in the opposite direction of all the other munchkins. Smart kid.  
Suddenly, he blinked, and stared down at his attire, "What the hell?!! Why am I wearing a green jumper-suit, trousers, whatever the hell they're called?? Overalls, maybe? WHATEVER!! BUT WHY THE HELL AM I ONLY THREE FEET TALL??!!"  
Heero suddenly spots Brock, and points and laugh hysterically, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
Brock stares right back at the laughing Heero with those lines for eyes, saying, "Speak for yourself, Mr. Lady in A Blue Dress."  
What hideous thing is Heero wearing?? And what is about to happen to our unfortunate contestants?? OH HELL WITH IT, THEY'RE VICTIMS OKAY?? But, anyways, let's see how our other group is doing....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME!!! WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!! WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU!! WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOOOOOOO??!!" (we almost forgot that last line... we were gonna make it up...but thankfully for you guys, we didn't. we've been deprived of our childhood)  
  
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!" (Guess who it is?)  
  
Not much progress, but let's make them make progress.  
  
They walked.  
  
Actually, to be more precise, they ran.  
  
Actually, they ran like a chicken with its head cut off.  
  
ACTUALLY, much to Wufei's dismay, they all ran like a bunch of onnas.  
  
Well...  
  
That's it....  
  
No, really, that's it for this chapter.  
  
Sad, isn't it?  
  
Well, too bad for you.  
  
We're sugar high, and full of life. HALLEJUAH!!!  
  
So we're gonna run in front of a car now.  
  
Goodbye.  
  
**Screech**  
  
**Crash**  
  
Writing this from the hospital...apparently, someone mixed crack into our drinks... so review!!  
  
And we'll feel better so that we can get our injured asses off this hospital chair and write more.  
  
So yea.  
  
That's it.  
  
Bye.  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Yes, yes, I know, we made you SO WORRIED, didn't we? Well just to clear things up, no, we're not dead, (actually we are) (no we're not), no, we didn't have crack, no, we're not in the hospital and....No we don't own the Wizard of Oz (that's what it's called for those of you that didn't catch on), and we don't own Barney (again, for those of you dumb...ahhh, don't diss the readers...that didn't catch on...)  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: I actually liked this chappie, so REVIEW READERS!! PLEASE?? Then, you'll actually know what happens!! YAY....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	10. the TRUE test of bravery

cHrRyBlSsM: wow, we got soooo many reviews!!! ahahahaha..... it's a great present you guys, cuz i was sick yesterday!! totally made my day! yay  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Me too!! We couldn't hang out cuz she was sick, but now she's ok!! yay!! I loved reading all the reviews!! Keep 'em coming and we'll write faster! ^.^  
  
chap. 8 ~ the TRUE test of bravery  
  
Heero blinked, and looked down, noticing the blue-checkered dress for the first time. It was the SCARIEST moment of all his years of being the perfect soldier. Still in a daze, the oversized good witch of the west (or maybe north? we forget.) happily walked over, apparently oblivious to poor Heero's state of shock.  
"Well, I think our new hero deserves a reward, don't you think everyone?" She turned to the munchkins who cheerfully ROARED their response. Heero looked up suspiciously at the oversized fairy.  
"Nani?" The witch bluntly pointed with her plastic wand to the pair of feet jutting out from under the lopsided house. The soldier's eyes widened, when he finally realized what she was pointing to (considering that poor Heero was deprived of his childhood, so he isn't familiar w/ the story of the Wizard of Oz...poor thing). A pair of BRIGHT red boots (hey, he's a guy, we had some pity on the poor boy, so we made them boots, live with it....and besides, the store was out of slippers....) Heero backed away,  
"No way old lady...there is NO way I'm putting on those..." The fairy put on a forced, and quite strained warm smile trying hard not to bash the soldier on the head with his ignorance.  
"Now, child, you MUST." Heero stared back at her defiantly...The good witch of the west's eyes flashed with anger and annoyance, (she's even scarier than King Kong!! ^.^;;) as she hissed,  
"Shut up, it's part of the fucking story, so you're going to put them on, damn it, OR ELSE!!"  
A minute later, Heero was hastily stuffed into a pair of red, sparkling boots, the miniature Brock standing by his side.  
Brock took one look at the cross-dressed Heero, trying his very best not to laugh his mini-head off, "How the heck did she get those on you?" he said through laughs.  
"Shut up. She has very powerful measures of persuasion."  
The good witch of the west smiled gayily and laughed, "Now my dears, you must start your quest to find the Wizard of Oz!! (I think... Hey, it's been a long time since we've heard or watched this story, so, we're winging it....)"  
"How?"  
"Simple, deary, just follow the yellow brick road!!"  
As if on cue, the chorus of tiny muchkins began and they joyfully screeched, "FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!! FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!! FOLLOW THE, FOLLOW THE, FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!" (we think that's how the song goes....rite? ack, wutever.)  
Heero and Brock cringed at the munchkins'ssss (sry, we're tempted to do that...) shrill screaming (which of course, the good witch of the west, being the GOOD witch and all, considered it a beautiful chorus...) and stuck their fingers in their ears as they ran as far away as they could, in the opposite direction.  
"Dearies...the road's that way..." the good witch of the west pointed to no avail. They were long gone.  
So how are they gonna get on the right road?? Sheesh, we dunno, but they'll make it...somehow....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And so, our other half of the group ran. (As said in the past chapter...hehe) And they ran....and they ran....and ran some more........and ran.... Wow, this is getting kinda repetitive, isn't it?  
And they stopped.  
And they blinked.  
And they looked up.  
And there, blocking their getaway path, was a BIG PURPLE DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!! (with a HUGE green stomach....is that normal?)  
They gasped.  
And their blood drained from their heads.  
And would you know, the red skies of Hell melted away to pure happy colors of blue...(well, would ya look at that?) And the flames sprouting from the ground soon sprouted into fresh BRIGHT YELLOW daisies.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed. But the unabashed, friendly dinosaur, that we all know and LOVE, opened his arms wide and before our poor contestants could say anything about it, they were all pulled into a NICE, WARM, GROUP HUG. (AWWWWW) Wufei was now a healthy shade of green, apparently thoroughly disgusted at this point for HUGGING a giant PURPLE DINOSAUR.  
The purple dinosaur held the group in his arms for quite awhile, and soon thereafter, our contestants were now a beautiful shade of blue.  
Will this loving dinosaur ever let go of our poor contestants? Our apparently suffocating contestants? WILL THEY SURVIVE FROM THE LOVING PURPLE DINOSAUR'S WRATH?? Find out soon peeps!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, our dear cross-dressed Heero and apparently shrunken-to-three- feet Brock miraculously found their way onto the right yellow brick path. How? Who cares...? Cuz we don't....AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS!!! (ahahahaha...!)  
But anyways, they're finally walking on the damn yellow brick road, and they heard a familiar voice in the distance....  
"Quatre!!" Heero's eyes widened, the funky pair dashed toward the shriek.  
"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Quatre was running as fast as his little...straw covered...legs could carry him. His azul eyes widen as he noticed his friends running towards him. And unfortunately, it didn't really process through their lil' brains that one of them should at least stop....(the straw must be clogging his head) So consequently, they inevitably crashed. Hard. Painfully. Ouch.  
Quatre laughed apologetically and helped his poor dress-wearing- friend up, "Nice dress Heero, it's really your color."  
"Don't joke with me Winner."  
"I wasn't joking."  
Quatre laughed and turned his head in Brock's direction, "The last time I saw you, I could've SWORN you were about my height..."  
Brock sweatdropped, "That's because I was."  
"Nani? Really?! Honto?! REALLY REALLY?!"  
"...Quatre?"  
"Hm?"  
"Since when were you covered in straw, wearing that ridiculous hat?"  
"Oh, I don't know, since I miracuously woke up in the middle of nowhere...I wonder what character I'm playing...?" Quatre turned around, as if the answer was written on his back. (which it was.)  
"The Scarecrow. No Brains," Heero read outloud [on a sign, which was on Quatre's back]  
"Hm?"  
"Nothing."  
Quatre noticed the piece of paper on his back for the first time (but really, who notices a piece of paper on his/her back??) and ripped it off, reading it slowly, then cheerfully chirped, "Look guys! I have no brains!!"  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
Heero recovered from his show of stupidity and asked, "......So why in all Peacecrafts' name were you running and screaming your head off?" Apparently not catching the sarcasm in his voice, the blond happily replied,  
"Well gosh Heero, don't you feel a joy in running?" Heero raised his eyebrows,  
"What?"  
"Well, don't you feel that RUSH? That exhilerating feeling when you're running on your own two feet? Doesn't it make you want to shout to the world and express your excitement?" And unfortunately, Quatre was in the mood for a demonstration, on the top of his lungs he yelled,  
"I'M RUNNING!!! WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone facefaulted. Heero muttered,  
"I can't believe that a sane person like Trowa's in love with a psyhcopathic guy like you..."  
As if on cue, Heero turned his head, and found Trowa standing RIGHT behind him, really close, almost nose to nose.... Heero jumped about three feet up (haha, he could've jumped over Brock) and yelled, "SHIT! Don't scare me like that Barton!"  
Trowa, like every other person in our Wizard of Oz cast, was wearing a ridiculous (KAWAII!!!) costume, in this case, a big fuzzy, cuddly, lion. (awww)  
Trowa kept his calm composure and placidly held up a white sign, which read, "Roar."  
"Hey Tro-kun! What are you suppposed to be? I'm the Scarecrow, and I've got No Brains!!" Quatre said cheerfully.  
Trowa took out a permanent Expo Marker (we don't own Expo Markers either) and wrote on the back of his sign, "Lion. No Heart." (AWWW...)  
Quatre's light-blue eyes filled with tears as he whimpered, "That's sooo SAD..."  
Heero gave Quatre a disgusted look, and said, "What do you know? You've got no brains..."  
"I know!"  
Well, our heartless, brainless, short, cross-dressing group will come back to you guys, 'cuz our suffocating group is turning purple now...kinda like the shade of Barney, ne?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The sputtering, coughing boys and girl, scrambled away from the crazy dinosaur and he happily said,  
"Well kids, are you ready for another day of learning?" A crowd of kids surrounded the boys and girl, blocking their path, and cheered,  
"YEA!!"  
Wufei was on the verge of tears, apparently not being able to take the pressures of "hell." Misty looked his way and made a triumphant face, "I thought real men don't cry."  
Wufei sniffled and said, "Shut up, it takes a real man to cry." Misty rolled her eyes, and walked over to hug Wufei, "There, there, my dear...it's okay. It'll all be over soon...I hope..."  
Ash turned to Wufei and Misty and asked, "Where's Duo?"  
Wufei pointed without even looking, knowing exactly where that dumbass baka was. Ash followed Wufei's pointing finger to find Duo sitting directly in front of Barney, listening attentively to EVERY word coming out of the dino's mouth.  
"WOW!! B comes after A???!! REALLY?? GOSH I NEVER KNEW THAT!!" Duo shrieked happily, apparently very happy with this new piece of information.  
The kids sitting around Duo snickered and pointed their lil' pudgey fingers at him, "Haha, you're stwupid!"  
"Well, then, you're rubber, and I'm glue, whatever you say sticks back to you!" Duo sang triumphantly. (only provoking more laughter).  
Barney found now as a good time to interject, "Now, now kids, it's not polite to make fun of other people's stupidity."  
Duo nodded agreeingly, "Yes, kids, listen to the overgrown dinosaur."  
"Yes..let's all listen to the prehistoric, extinct dumbass...that wouldn't know anything...why the hell did the producers of this show pick a dinosaur? Why not something more....MANLY...like a....CHINESE DRAGON?!" Wufei muttered crazily, apparently off his rocker. (and a bit touched in the head).  
"Who would listen to a dragon?" Misty asked.  
"I WOULD!!"  
"Shows how much you know..." Ash muttered.  
Wufei unsheathed his katana, "Wanna try that again?!"  
"No," Ash squeaked.  
(Dude, where'd Pikachu go? Wow, all these chapters, and we've already forgotten about that famous yellow furball that took down the perfect soldier... Oh well, we'll just make him disappear for awhile...)  
Wufei snorted and put his katana back, and turned, to find all the little kiddies looking at him in horror, "You shouldn't bwing a sword to schwool, it's against the rwules!"  
  
"Screw it."  
  
"YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THE....'S' WORD!"  
  
"What, 'Shit'?"  
  
**GASP**  
  
"What else am I banned from saying? Ass?"  
  
*Cringe*  
  
"Hell?"  
  
**Stagger**  
  
"Fuck?"  
  
**AHHHHHHHHHHHH**  
  
"Damn?"  
  
"Beaver Dam!" Duo sang.  
  
"Shut up Maxwell, I'm teaching the kiddies an important lesson."  
  
"Bitch?"  
  
**Cower**  
  
Wufei smirked, and whispered hauntedly, "Shut up?"  
**GASP** "That's the baddest of the bad, the mac daddy of the swears!!! The P Diddy!! The French Fries of McDonalds (we don't own McDonalds), the corn of the crop! The...TURBAN OF BIN LADDEN!!!" (how the hell do these little kids know these things? we don't know...so that's okay).  
Wufei gave the kids a strange look and said, "What?"  
Barney decided to take a stand, before this would turn into a brawl, and put his abnormally short arms on his giant hips, "NOW NOW, I think SOMEONE needs a timeout!!"  
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Wufei screamed.  
Barney calmly walked up to Wufei, and lifted him up as easily as a pickle in a Big Mac. And threw him in the corner, stuffing a Dunce Hat onto his head. Wufei took one look up upwards, and started grumbling nonstop, "I'm being ordered around by a purple, stupid, oversized, overweight, dinosaur."  
AHAHAHAHA, poor Wu-man, will he ever get out of timeout? Will our Barney group even make it to nap time alive?? Or worse, will they even make it to snack-time???? Time to say bye bye!! 'Til next time, we're signing out!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: So, wutcha think guys?? AHAHA, review pwease!!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Si si!! Oh and by the way, we don't own Wizard of Oz, Barney, Pokemon, Gundam Wing, or Expo Markers, or McDonalds!! ^.^ So w/ that said, REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRETTY PLEASE??? WITH A CHERRY ON TOP? 


	11. unnamed

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yo. Let's see, we'll answer a few questions first. All mistakes were intentional... dudette007, we're not going to be very technical w/ all that crap. So, yea... and Wufeilover1, when they were all saying "hi," Quatre said hello, but we couldn't find the pronunciation in English, and all we could find was the ACTUAL Arabic script, and it turned out funky, cuz not every computer has that program downloaded on their computer.... So yea...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Yea, wut she said.... We wanted to make the fic a lil' more interesting, so we threw in a few kinks. ^.^ Yea...so, w/ that said, here's our next chapter! Er....oh yea, we don't own Gundam Wing, Barney, or the Wizard of Oz...so don't sue us... -_-;;;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
chap. 9 ~ unnamed  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Duo: Hiiiiiiiii everybody!!  
  
**silence**  
  
Wufei: What now?  
  
Quatre: YES! What EXCITING, new product are you selling NOW??!  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
Heero: Here we go....  
  
Duo: PLUSHIES!! Got the idea straight from the fic.!  
  
Wufei: What the #$%^?  
  
Duo: MINI-ME'S! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
**sweatdrop**  
  
Duo: There's one for all of us! There's a mini-me, looking as sexy as ever! *grins* And then there's one of Heero in his stunning blue checkered dress...**Heero glares**....There's one of Q-man in his scarecrow costume...oh and by the way, for a Quatre-plushie, we're NOT responsible for any lost straw in the delivery.... And there's Trowa in his lion suit, and THEN there's Wu-man, with his famous DUNCE CAP!! (stool sold separately)  
  
Wufei: NANI?! **unsheathes katana, and Heero takes out his gun**  
  
**Quatre, not noticing what's happening, cheerfully takes out wallet #11, and accidentally smacks Wufei on the nose, again!** ^.^  
  
Quatre: *still looking through his wallet* Whoops....mah bad...  
  
Wufei: *clutching his nose* I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR #^%$& 29 WALLETS!! STOP SMACKING THOSE %$&#^ THINGS ON MY NOSE!!! **Duo smiles maliciously, and grabs a box full of plushies**  
  
Duo: AIM!! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!! *Throws plushies, and soon there are mini Duos, Heeros, Trowas, Quatres, and Wufei and his dunce cap flying through the air, aimed straight for Wufei's......NOSE**  
  
Wufei: **screams like an onna** ARRRGGHHH!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! **Wu-man is now under a large pile of kyute lil' plushies!! Kawaii!! ^.^**  
  
Duo: WHOOSH!! OKAY! (cHrRyBlSsM: why he said WHOOSH, I danno, but he's a random person, and so am I!! AHAHAHAHAHA) The number to call is 1-800-B- E-G-A-Y, and each individual doll is fifty bajillion dollars, but you can get the set for just forty bajillion dollars!!! Hehe! CALL NOW!!  
  
**Wufei is still buried in the ginormous pile of plushies, his voice muffled in the mountain of soft, polyester plushies**  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre smiled happily and said, "Brock, you're not in character! You're supposed to be with all your other fellow, three-foot munchkin friends!! Your friends that wear those SO out-of-fashion jumper suits!"  
Brock only said evenly, "Screw it."  
"OKAY!"  
"You really do have no brain," Heero informed our uninformed idiot.  
"I KNOW! I am a brave scarecrow, and I HAVE NO BRAIN!" **Trumpets blare in the background**  
Our VERY gay, happy group stood there stupidly for a couple of minutes, wondering what could possibly happen next, and perhaps what they SHOULD be doing.... Let's give them a hint...  
"So...what should we do now...?" Heero asked no one in particular.  
Suddenly, on cue, cheerful (TOO cheerful, for Heero's taste) music played, childish voices accompanying singing, "FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD! FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!! FOLLOW THE, FOLLOW THE, FOLLOW THE, FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!"  
Heero's eyebrows quirked in annoyment (that's not the right word, but it's okay, we're redefining what our English teachers would call, "grammer," sorry Mrs. Browne....Mrs. Derr....apparently you guys didn't drill it into our heads hard enough! ^.~) and yelled in frustration, "ALRIGHT, WE'LL FOLLOW THE DAMN BRICK ROAD!!"  
"Follow the YELLOW brick road..." the merry children sang.  
And so, they follow the YELLOW brick road.... Yay....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wufei sat there.  
In his lonely corner.  
Wondering where exactly he had gone wrong in life that made him deserve this....  
WHY?!  
Finally loosing it, the Chinese pilot jumped up and dropped to his knees, with his hands in the air, proclaiming, "WHY, WHY ME?!!!!!"  
A sparkling, luminous, dazzling, glittering, shimmering, shining (do you get the picture now??) spotlight illuminated the kneeling Wufei, highlighting his despairness (okay, not a word either, but hey...we've explained this before...and besides we're stupid too! Just like Quatre! We have no brain!! And we're PROUD of it!! ^.^).  
In response, a deep, rumbling voice boomed, "BECAUSE....you are stupid...."  
Wufei snapped out of his brooding and looked up, "Huh?"  
The spotlight shut off, and the outside world became visible again.... There was Barney, standing there with his "petite," mitten, finger-less, hands (ever wonder how the guy eats? I mean, the guy's got no fingers, but at least he has a retractable thumb! I mean, how does he greet you? Stick his finger-less hand out at you and then.... Wait, how do we know these things??? AHHHHHHHH) over his huge toothy, overlarge mouth.  
He smiled innocently (of course, he's a damn purple dinosaur for crying out loud! And he's supposed to teach little children about the joys of...learning....and....yea....wait, what was our point?) and said instead, "Wufei....**weird gasping noises** (Star Wars fans, you know what we mean...)....I am your father...." (Gosh, we don't own Star Wars either...)  
(What's the point of going on? We're just going to interrupt ever other sentence to say these stupid comments, but hey, we can't help it. Don't worry, we'll try to restrain ourselves... OH, AND ONE MORE THING......................... Barney's stupid!)  
"WHAT?! DO I LOOK LIKE A PURPLE DINOSAUR TO YOU?!!! .....Who was my mother....?" Wufei asked.  
"The Cookie Monster....hey, don't look at me like that, purple dinosaurs can be gay too ya know, thus the purpleness. HELLO?!" Barney smiled his ever-so-toothy smile that promotes good hygiene and stupidity.  
"WHAT?"  
"OH HONEY!!" His call was answered with an "Ooga, ooga" As a big hunky blue blob, tottered out from backstage. Immediately he growls,  
"Where's my cookie?!" Everyone sweatdrops, and immediately the lil' kiddies start singin' with that out of tune, screechy, and ridiculously high voices that we all know and LOVE, and started singing,  
"'C' IS FOR COOKIE, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!! 'C' IS FOR COOKIE, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!! 'C' IS FOR THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!! OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE, STARTS WITH CCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!" Wufei, with his fingers stuck in his ears, muttered,  
"How the hell does this work?!"  
"Well, kiddo, Barney isn't as innocent as you think...." Barney said happily, "But don't tell the kiddies that idolize me...that would ruin my whole image. It's so hard to keep this story out of the press....paparazzi and all...they very VERY nosy...."  
"Nice grammer."  
Unfortunately for Barney, a cute lil' kid overheard the WHOLE darn, gay, SHABANG!, and squealed at the top of his lungs, "BARNEY'S GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!"  
"OOOOOooooOOOoooOOO!"  
Misty gave everyone else a blank look, and said, "I knew that all along...for gosh sake, he's purple..."  
"OoOOOooOOoOOooooOO!"  
Well, who ever knew that Barney was LITERALLY gay? I mean, yes, as mature people living in a MATURE American society, we only half-joke about this stuff....but, yes, people, Barney is indeed gay.  
  
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cHrRyBlSsM: well, we gotta go, so til next time.... Wow, this chappie made no sense, ne? Ahahah, and don't worry, we shall all find out what happened to the tin man soon!! ^.~  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Bai bai, minna-san!! ^.^  
  
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	12. not named

cHrRyBlSsM: hey guys, we're back. Don't mind the last chapter, we were kinda high on sumthin' or another and short on time (dangerous combination...), and so, we just made up anything that came up off the top of our heads.... ^^;;;; so, we promise to be a lil' more sane this chapter. Oh, and congrats to gundamneko, who finally discovered our major flaw....the lion doesn't have COURAGE not a heart. Ahahaha, so, because we're lazyasses, we won't change it. Just live w/ it. Yay.  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Yea, like she said, all the flaws in the story were made with our knowledge, (well at least for cHrRyBlSsM, I didn't know.... ^.^;;; ...she told me later of course...) Oh yea, we don't own Gundam Wing, Barney, Wizard of Oz, Expo Markers, McDonalds, Elmer's Glue, Star Wars, and anything else that may pop up in our WONDERFUL fic. ^.^ so yea, I tink, that's it, here's our lil' chappie! Enjoy! ^.^  
  
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chap. 10 ~ not named  
  
And so, because our audience has been so persistent with the whereabouts of the TIN MAN, it shall be answered. Just not now.  
  
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....FINE, you'll figure it out!  
Our weary travelers traveled down that oh so wondrous damn yellow frickin road. (dude, it's yellow BRICK road) Ya know, the one that goes in all the damn curves and loops that get them to nowhere (ya think that they know ish a circle yet? ^.^ mwahaha)  
Of course, our victims being in such un-com-for-TABLE (again, helps with spelling) costumes, our weary travelers become WEARY. And so, they reach a pit-stop, composed of....a TIN box. (OR SO IT SEEMS) Exhaustingly (omg! Ish a word! I never knew that!) our weary heroes, wearily plopped their big asses (of course Quatre doesn't have a big ass, and neither does Trowa, hehe, I'm totally biased when it comes to Trowa and Quatre, plus, the lil' Quatre bit was dedicated to gundamneko, who said we make fun of the poor blonde too much. But then again, we make fun of Wufei a lot too....wufeilover is going to have our heads....o.O ok, we'll shut up now.) down on the TIN bench. A loud "oomph" ("OOMPH") emitted from underneath their...uh.....mediocre asses. Soon after the "oomph" OOMPHED, there came a loud scrunching sound, that resembled the sound of a can crumpling...a TIN can....  
Hearing the OOMPH and the SCRUNCH that sounded like a TIN can, our heroes got their asses off the oomphing "bench," and quickly turned around to find a twitching TIN MAN all squished and poorly disoriented. (and driven into the ground....their big asses drilling him to the ground like a hammer hammers a nail to the...uh...wutever you're hammering...so THERE!).  
The TIN MAN recoiled at the view of four big butts hovering above him, one with a tail, one covered in straw, one with a pretty blue checkered pattern, and a mini-butt about 6.3426983018356383 inches wide. (how he knows it's exactly that wide, who knows...), but he knew for sure, they were the strangest butts he'd ever seen.  
Quatre stared down at the disabled, dismantled TIN MAN, and said, "Look, it's the TIN MAN!"  
"So that's where he was..." Brock added.  
"Oh, look, he's still moving!" Quatre exclaimed excitedly.  
**BAM** Heero blew the smoke off the gun barrel, and stated monotonously, "Not anymore...." Everyone sweatdropped.  
"There goes our TIN MAN..." Brock muttered.  
SO THERE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO THE TIN MAN! Happy?? HE GOT CRUSHED UNDER THEIR BIG BUTTS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
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But anyways, back to our suffering Wufei, who probably wishes to die at the moment, but unfortunately, can't. But then again, he probably wants to die an HONORABLE death, or die trying to die honorably!! But yes, he's surrounded by a bunch of kids, Barney, and the Cookie Monster...  
After quite awhile, the Cookie Monster deemed the kiddies unworthy of his time, and left the set. Wufei's time-out expired, and he hung his head in exasperation and DEFEAT as he watched the kids, Duo, and Barney play the gayest game ever...  
DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE! **DUN DUN DUUUUUN....**  
"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck...." ~ Five hours later ~  
"duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck......GOOSE!!" some random kid shrieked at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately, he had taken so long going around this ducky circle that the group had pretty much fallen asleep, except for Duo, who EAGERLY anticipated the "goose."  
The God of Death leapt to his feet and led out an Indian Battle Cry, "HOI YOI YOI YOI YOI!! HOI YOI YOI YOI YOI YOI YOI!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
He chased the kid around the circle, without even realizing the kid wasn't running from him....he was standing rooted to the spot, because it wasn't Duo's turn....it was a lil' itty bitty blonde, who squealed in delight. However, Duo shoved the girl aside and continued his battle cry, "HOI YOI YOI YOI YOI YOI YOI!! HOI YOI YOI YOI YOI!!"  
"Damn Maxwell and his stupidididididty..." Wufei muttered.....(he's probably been driven off the edge of his sanity and he's off his rocker!! The poor guy...)  
Duo ignored him, and ran wildly, his long braid whipping out behind him and smacking the poor children's faces as he passed, including Wufei's NOSE. But just as the Shinigami was just getting warmed up, the lil' brunette boy had already sat down.... Duo turned beet red, and let out a cry of anguish, stomping his feet like a lil' two year old. With his arms crossed defiantly, and putting up a pout face, but then soon turning back into his lil' bright self as he chanted, "Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, ducky, duck, duck, ducky, duck, ducky, duck, ducky, duck, duck, duck, doodling duck, duck, duck, dawdling duck, duck, duck, damn ducks, duck, dada duck, dada's mama duck, dada's dada duck, dada's dada's dada duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, dock, dock, dock, dock, duck, duck, DUCKY..." Duo paused for a moment trying to raise the level of anticipation, and reached his CLIMAX as he smashed Wufei's head, shattering his skull, and sending him three feet underground. The poor children gasped and turned stark white at this display of VIOLENCE, Barney of course shaking his head....  
  
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*****JOKE TIME***** Hitler, Barney, and Michael Jackson are all on a plane that's about to crash. Barney says (in that lame, gay voice), "I think we should save the kids." Hitler proclaims, "SCREW the kids!" Michael Jackson says in response, "I don't think we have enough time...."  
  
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AHAHAHAHA, get it?? If you don't, leave your e-mail and we'll calmly explain to you....and we'll explain it in a way that keeps language PG-13. OKAY THEN!  
  
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Our Wizardy group is on their way to destroy the Wicked Witch of the Southeast (again, intentional mistake....for those of you peoplez that don't get it....), except our heroes DON'T KNOW THAT... But they go along anyways, and see a pretty field of yellow flowers....(we don't know if they're yellow, so for a nice twist, we'll say there are yellow and orange and blue and green and white and purple and...brown...and...black and red and....macaroni and cheese...colored flowers! Yum...)  
Seeing this beautiful array of happy, gay, tie-dye flowers, our brainless Quatre's heart was filled with joy as he trounced...and skipped, and....pounced, into this jolly ol' gay valley of....i danno....  
Heero, Brock, and a sign-holding Trowa (the sign said, "...." Wow, even while writing he says nothing...) follow the happy brainless scarecrow into the valley.  
FLOWER POWER! **AHEM**  
"FLOWERS!! GRANT ME YOUR POWER!! GRANT ME BRAINS!" Quatre proclaimed to the...well, flowers surrounding him.  
**cricket cricket**  
Heero sighed and asked, "Quatre, why do you like flowers so much?"  
"BECAUSE," Quatre paused for dramatic effect, then continued, "FLOWERS KICK ASS!!"  
Brock stared at Quatre and said evenly, "That was deep man....that was real deep... deep in the ground... fo shizzle mah nizzle...."  
Suddenly, (don't do drugs) our cross-dresser, scarecrow, lion, and three-foot munchkin all felt sleepy, a happy, floating feeling that lifted them off the ground and settled them on their backs, their minds swirling into the darkness (better known as sleep) in this wondrous valley of death.  
  
Will our heroes wake up in time for Christmas? Why Christmas, I don't know...alrite, how about Easter? Will our heroes wake up in time for Easter?? To find out, you guys hafta review!! Then we promise to update! AHAHAHA, so signing off, adios, 'til next time! ^.~  
  
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cHrRyBlSsM: funness. Again, if u don't get the joke, leave e-mail and we'll answer. So yea.... We hope you guys liked it. Pleez review! Ja ne!  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: hehe, well that was a good chappie, dontcha tink? Plus, I thought up a new hairstyle for cHrRyBlSsM!! ^.^ well, if you wanna know wut happens next, REVIEW!! Ja ne!! ^.^  
  
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	13. forget about naming these things

  
  
cHrRyBlSsM: yo guys! it's been awhile, hasn't it?? wow, so long... i miss this story so much! but yea, thanx for all the reviews so far, and we'll try to lay off the word "gay," cuz i bet all of you are pretty sick of the word, huh? well, anyways, here we goooooooo...  
  
CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness!! Long time no talk or update!! . anyhoo, sry that we haven't updated in awhile, but anway, enough small talk, Iku zo!!! we don't own anything!!!!! 

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chap. 11 - forget about naming these things...  
  
Wufei rubbed the giant bruise on the top of his head, and climbed out of the three-feet deep hole (OHO, that RHYMES!!). Ash gave him a blank stare, apparently unentertainted throughout this whole ordeal.  
Barney suddenly popped up in front of our poor, distressed Chinese pilot, screaming, "LET'S GO ON A FIELD TRIP!"  
Wufei swore under his breath and Barney cheerily asked, "What was that?!"  
"Oh nothing..."  
Misty sighed and got up from where ever she was in the past few chapters...(sry, we forgot). And suddenly, a magical song started and glitter started falling from the sky.  
"Nice set effects..." Ash mumbled under his breath, as dry ice smoke was wafted into the set, creating a dry ice smoke effect. And then as cables lowered from the ceiling and wrapped around everyone's waists (dang that must be painful), everybody was hoisted from the ground.  
"Okay, look like you're flying everybody!" the directors screamed from behind the non-visible cameras. Immediately, everybody cornily flapped their arms in mad circles in an attempt to look like....superman...or those lame birds...that keep squeaking outside my window...hold on, lemme kill them. DIE DIE DIE! . squeak AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
Anyways, while Duo was flying in circles around our disgruntled, upside down Wufei (who was struggling to upright himself), the blood rushed to Wufei's head, slowly inflating his head twice the normal size.  
A random kid floats by merrily, spotting our distressed Wufei and commenting, "Mister..."  
Wufei's muffled voice could hardly be made out as his lips were swollen to the size of a pillow, "Wuff?"  
"You have a big head."  
"Wow! Wufei's head IS big!!" Duo proclaimed.  
And without warning, the directors screamed, "Alright! Cut the cables!"  
Ash, Misty, Duo, Wufei, Barney and Co. suddenly plummeted to the ground at at least a hundred miles per hour (is that possible?), landing in a huge pile of dung, actually...everybody else landed in hay, Wufei landed in dung.  
"What the HELL??!!" he screamed as he stood up, only to find that he had stood up too quickly, and he felt dizzy and tipsy from all the blood from his head rushing to the rest of his body.  
"Well, dude, if you had landed only two inches THIS way instead of THAT way... then...well, you know the rest..." Ash stated blandly, brushing all the strewn pieces of hay from his hat. His oh-so-precious hat. His only hat...  
Misty snorted with laughter as she saw the huge dent in Wufei's head, "OHOHOHOHo!!"  
"At least your big head broke your fall... Now it's a square," Duo noted as he tipped his head sideways in order to look at Wufei's head in perspective.  
"Where are we?" Wufei asked grumpily.  
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

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Off in our wondrous valley of death, our poor heroes sleep. And sleep...until they woke up. How? Because you guys know that this is supposed to be that magical, evil valley that puts them to sleep....until they wake up... DUN DUN DUNNNN  
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Quatre stared around him, and he felt all lightheaded inside. This wonderful, puffy, fluffy, happy feeling, that made him wanna scream to the world...  
"I'M SO HAPPY!! I HAVE A WONDERFUL, PUFFY, FLUFFY, HAPPY FEELING, THAT MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM TO THE WORLD!"  
...you get the rest...  
Trowa sat up and stared at his now-gone-maniac lover, holding up a sign that said, "What the...?"  
Heero and Brock sat astounded and their eyes goggled as they saw the sight before them. Quatre was seemingly glowing, a beautiful, heavenly aura that glowed with a heavenly glow. Wow... And birds twittered merrily in the background as walking flowers (how'd that happen?) drifted around him.  
Brock stared at this for a few seconds before turning to Heero and muttering, "What's happening...?"  
Quatre turned to him, with a solemn expression, "I am being endowed with the power of the flowers, also known as Flower Power. And they are granting my wish.........GRANT ME BRAINS!!!" He flinged his arms upwards to the sky, his eyes shut tight as little flowers began to chant, "Flower Power, Flower Power, Flower Power!" And without warning, a giant, humongous, gargantuous daisy drops from the sky with a plunk, and with a deep, booming voice, he said, "You who believes in Flower Power, I shall endow you with Flower Power.... Name your request."  
Quatre pondered on the thought for a moment before happily chirping, "Grant me brains!!"  
"And it is done..."  
And with that, the giant diasy floated dramatically off the ground and rose to the sky before vanishing into thin air.  
"I'VE GOT BRAINS!! I'M SO HAPPY!"  
Heero scrutinized Quatre's face and expression, before saying, "He doesn't look any different... Quatre, what's two plus two?"  
And without hesitation, Quatre replied triumphantly, "TWENTY-TWO!!"  
And with that, everybody facefaults into the ground. Quatre is looking quite confused as Trowa sympathetically leads him away from this valley.  
"Hey, where's Brock?" Heero muttered, as he walked away with Quatre and Trowa. Our confused group turned around to find a pancake-like Brock, who was apparently sat on by the huge flower thing...  
They happily trotted along the merry yellow brick road to THE huge green castle also known as the castle of the Wizard of Oz. There was a huge iron gate at the entrance of the castle, and Heero spotted an intercom system and pressed the handy dandy button.  
"Hello, this is the Wizard of Oz residence, population 1.5. I am Mary-Ann Sue Loo-Woo Zoo, how may I help you today?" the high voice squeaked through the speakers.  
Heero was taken aback by this upfront method and paused before saying, "We're here to see the Wizard of Ozzy Osborne."  
Brock leaned over to Heero and muttered, "Dude, no! We're here to see the Wizard of OZ."  
"Oh, sorry, I mean the Wizard of Oz."  
"Do you have an appointment?"  
"No."  
"Well, then, too bad, come back some other day. Have a nice day!" And with that, the speaker clicked off, and our four travelers were left standing not knowing that they had to get the witch's broom.  
"You think we should get the witch's broom?" Brock asked out of the blue.  
"Why?" Quatre and Heero asked in unison.  
"I dunno. Why not?"  
Everybody (except for Trowa) shrugs and reply, "Alright, let's go..."

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Duo: Wassup mah homies?! D-DAWG IN THA HOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!! (Duo appears on set with black baggy pants, and "bling bling" around his neck)  
  
(Quatre appears next to him, in similar clothing, doing that funky hand motion, ya know, that thing that rappers do...)  
  
(Trowa is next to Quatre, with clothes ten times his size on)  
  
(Heero and Wufei appear in normal clothing)  
  
Heero: What's with the pajama party?  
  
Wufei: Pajama party? That is $%&# weak. Little #$%& onnas have those... We are not #$ onnas, we are MEN. And what is that ridiculous #% music?  
  
Duo: It's In Da Club by Fifty Cents  
  
Heero: It's Fifty CENT. One cent.  
  
Duo: But there are fifty!  
  
Quatre: NO, there are FIFTEEN.  
  
Wufei: How would you know, you don't have any brains.  
  
Duo: OH! Which reminds me!! Today we are selling BRAINS IN A BOTTLE.  
  
Wufei: What kind of #$% is this?  
  
Heero: No, what kind of #% is this...?  
  
Wufei: Well, I think it's #%#$%  
  
Heero: No, it's $%&($#  
  
Wufei: What the $#&?! That doesn't even compare with !$&#$&#$  
  
Heero: $&%$& $%#$(##$%&&((#!#  
  
Wufei: %(##%)$&#$!##&$$##%$&&#%#!$#!%&&&%$#&#  
  
Duo: Hey! I think it's a brilliant idea!  
  
Heero: #%%$  
  
Wufei: !%)$%$#&%$$$#%#!$(&$$#&(%$$%#!!%&%$%$#!%&&$%#&%$#  
  
Duo: Wow, I never knew that was a word...Or that one...What a colorful vocabulary...  
  
Quatre: WOW!! This is so ENLIGHTENING!  
  
(Trowa walks over to Quatre and covers his ears)  
  
Duo: It's a bajillion dollars (duh), and so just call 1-800-B-E-G-A-Y. You'll love it, especially you, Quatre!  
  
Quatre: WHAT?!!!!  
  
(Heero and Wufei are still swearing in the background).  
  
(Duo makes a motion to stop filming, the camera clicks off)

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cHrRyBlSsM: Lame chapter, but it's okay. It's all good, right? Well, pleez review, cuz we wanna know how we're doing, CrYsTaLsNoW is sleeping, so she won't be saying anything anytime soon... well, Ja ne!


	14. asdfjkl

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**cHrRyBlSsM:** lookie, we're bak...after like fifty bajillion months. Thanx to those who have actually reviewed and kept up. cough umm, yea...

**CrYsTaLsNoW:** Helloness minna-san!!! Many thanx to our loyal readers and those that have actually reviewed us these past months....(**cHrRyBlSsM:** more like years...haha, not really)..although....only like three peeps actually reviewed us....and dat...:sniff:...hurt mah feelings!!! T.T (**cHrRyBlSsM:** dude, quit your moping...we're getting on w/ the story. Wus w/ this damn spacebarit'skillingme!!!)

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chap. 13 - asdfjkl;asdfjkl;asdfjkl;  
  
Yea, here we are. We've been gone for so long that we don't even know where we left off. Umm....yea. We'll fast forward a bit.  
  
Andsoourbraveheroesgoforthtofindtheevilwhateverwitch'scastletoretrievethebro om. (that's all fast-forwarded, so no need to figure it out)  
Upon reaching the castle they find those weirdo monkey-soldier things that chant, "OOEEEEOOO, OOOOOO." Scores upon scores of flying-monkey- soldiers-that-chant-OEO's, marching in straight lines...yea...  
"Well, this is all very pleasant," commented Quatre, glancing up at the gloomy clouded sky and the menacing monkey soldiers (why monkeys? You'd think that this evil witch would have a better budget.) that would probably kill them (yea right...) at a glance, and their desolate surroundings that contained no form of life except maybe some pebbles if you call that life. "Yes, very pleasant indeed."  
Going on, our merry heroes trampled down the hillside/slant to face the monkeys head-on.  
"We come in peace!" Brock proclaimed, holding up his stubby hand as some faint sign of this so-called "peace."  
"Yes, in the name of the Winner family, I ask that you all stand aside so that we may go to the evil witch of...some stupid direction on the compass..." Unknown to Quatre, these lil' chimpanzee soldiers didn't understand English and were now thoroughly confused, glancing at one another and grunting. I guess the Flower God accidentally gave him the gift of impatience for after a few moments of strained silence, Quatre snapped and yelled,

"I SAID MOVE IT!!!!!"

With this proclamation being proclaimed, the monkeys stood still for a heartbeat before trouncing on our caught-off-guard Brock. The three-foot munchkin was easily crushed under the heavy, hairy weight of the orangatangs. (computer says that's wrong spelling, but we really have no idea how to spell orangatangs, u people can review and tell us the proper way if ya want...(not like we're gonna change it...maybe if you begged on ur knees and the whole shebang...but otherwise, probably not))

AHEM...

"Thank you," Quatre declared politely as he made his way past the struggling Brock, with Heero and Trowa looking worriedly behind them.

"Shouldn't we help him...?" Heero asked hesitantly as he caught up to Quatre.

"Naw, it's okay, he'll fend. We have to find that broom and that WITCH!" Quatre shouted enthusiastically. Apparently Quatre's all fired up for some odd reason.

----- A few hours, 5 times going in circles, 2 dead ends, Brock-all-scratched- up-looking-like-he's-going-to-murder-someone showing up again, and one booby trap later -----"I have this urge to CLEAN..." Quatre declared randomly.

"..."

Grabbing a broom out of nowhere, Quatre began to sweep the dusty floor of the castle, "It's so dirty...as if it were some kind of evil castle..."

"..."

"QUATRE!" Brock yelled as Heero and Trowa simply gave him blank looks, "That's the friggin' broom we've been looking for!!"

"Oh really now? And how do YOU know THAT?" Quatre countered.

Brock blandly pointed to the broom's handle, on which was inscribed the words in nice cursive letters, "Witch's Broom."

"HEY! THAT'S MY BROOM! GIVE IT BACK!"

Heero froze as he said shakily (wow), "I know that voice anywhere..."

They all spiraled around as they glanced at a very mad, overdramatic...messed- up in the head...stalker...oh look, it's Relena...

The castle went completely silent as they stared, not believing that they were actually staring at THE Relena, THE...you get it... All of the boys went stalk white (except Brock, 'cause obviously he didn't know the notorious Relena Peacecraft), and without further hesitation, screamed, (except for Trowa of course)

"....AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" and bolted out of sight, leaving poor Relena in confusion as she coughed up the dust. She blinked and turned to her fellow monkey minion and questioned,

"I wonder why they went off like that...I know! They needed to go pottie!! Geez, they must've been holding it for a very long time for them to run so fast, I hope they're okay....but I want my broom back...and I want Heero back...::sniff::"

And the minion grunted, "oldjekdkd fjfdmkfr kcnkfvnkrefjifd" (translation: "Yea, well, nature calls, when ya gotta go, her call ain't too subtle.")

Relena began to pout before realizing that this wouldn't accomplish much and was about to ran after the four boys when they bumped into her from behind.

"SHIT! This is a damn circle!" Heero cursed when he collided head-on with Relena's back.

"I'm thirsty," Quatre declared as he poured himself this random cup of milk from nowhere.

"NO TIME FOR THAT!" Heero yelled, growing impatient and frustrated (and seriously scared) as he pushed Quatre aside to make him move faster.

"AH! MY MILK!" Quatre's precious glass of milk spilled in his hands and landed on the head of the evil witch of whatever direction's (Relena's) head, provoking a terrified shriek from the pacifist...sorta. (she can't really be a pacifist now that she's an evil witch with monkey minions, rite?)

"AHHH, I'm MEEEELLLLTTTTIIIIIIIIINNNNG..."

Brock stared at the sizzling, smoking, and not to mention disintegrating Relena and commented, "I thought that only worked with water..."

"Who cares?" Heero said as he hastily picked up the broom, brushed himself off, and pushed the others out the door of this ridiculous castle.

Haha, you guys (of course) shouldn't mind if we kill off Relena. Haha...

We're going to wrap this up... TheysomehowmaketheirwaybacktothecastleandfindawaypastMaryAnnSueLooWooZooorwh ateverandsoonfindthemselvesinfrontofthegreen,glowingfaceoftheWizardofOz.

Catch all that?

Gotta make this quick.

They presented the sacred Witch's Broom to the Wizard of Oz, asking for each individual characteristic that they lacked, and of course, to go on home to where they came from.

Lucky for them, the [shower] curtain [with big pink polka dots] that concealed the tiny Wizard of Oz fell off, and revealed the three-foot Wizard (haha, Brock's height. Brock's cousin. Cool.)

And so, with his big secret revealed, the Wizard of Oz[zy Osbourne] had no choice but to give into their requests (actually, even if his secret had not been revealed, he would have had to give in anyways, otherwise Heero would blast him into oblivion).

In short, our heroes missed their balloon (because Quatre had to buy some souvenirs) and Heero, instructed to tap his red, glittery boots three times, saying, "There's no place like home," so he did so.

Heero's eyes fluttered open as he left what seemed like a deep sleep. He found everything fuzzy and hazy as he heard the muffled voices of a voice,

"Dorothy...Dorothy dear..."

"Who the hell's calling me dear...? And how dare you compare me to the girl with radar eyebrows..." Heero muttered as he opened his eyes, and had to focus before he saw the faces of Milliardo, Treize, and the real Dorothy (with the eyebrows...).

"Where'd Trowa, Quatre, and Brock go...?" Heero asked hesitantly as he sat upwards.

"Who dear?" asked Dorothy as she placed a damp cloth on his forehead. Her voice had an accented twang to it, and Heero just realized that everything was in black and white. How'd he get here?

------------  
  
"Hey! It worked, we're back in the Pokemon world!" Quatre yelled as he took in his new surroundings.  
Accompanied by Quatre, there was also (of course) Trowa and Brock, but it had seemed that Ash, Misty, Wufei, and Duo had appeared as well.  
"How'd you guys get here?" Brock asked.  
"We danno," Misty replied, "one minute we were in this farm singing Old McDonald has a farm E-I-E-I-O and then a BRIGHT LIGHT, and now we're here."  
Wufei seemed in shock as he panted in what seemed like frustration, looking disbelievingly around as he took in the colorful world of Pokemon once again. Well, they were back where they started.  
"HEY! WHERE'S HEE-CHAN?!" Duo screamed, looking frantically around for his now-missing lover.  
"Oh...oops...we lost him..." Brock said, newly discovering the missing Heero, "our bad..."

------------  
  
Heero looked up questionably at the surrounding figures and promptly said, "You know what, that's great. I'm going to go to the bathroom now." With that, our solitary hero made his way to the outhouse....(we're not sure if they had indoor plumbing) and closed the door, trying to figure out his situation and how he was going to get back to a world with actual color.  
Seemingly in answer, there was this vacumm-like air current that filled the little box of an outhouse and swept Heero off of his feet into that hole in the ground....(yea, we're not going to go into details about an outhouse...) and found himself drenched head-to-toe in water and crumpled on the ground.  
"HEE-CHAN!"  
The color was blinding as Heero opened his eyes to find his lover hovering worriedly over him.  
"Hey."  
"THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY?!"  
"Yea. I'm going to sleep now. This whole alternate universes and stuff is a bitch. Good night."  
ZZZZZZZZzz...

------------  
  
**CrYsTaLsNoW:** Wow, that was the lamest chappie yet.. you'd tink that after all this time we would've thought of something betta to write, rite??? Ah well, ish all good. O mah gosh, while we were writing this in the library in a private (2 peeps per room) study room at the adult section (we didn't want to bother anyone w/ our laughing as we were bound to do), we ran into the meanest old lady of ALLLL time!!! Urileamflsdrjflksedjfrwoieajfrnkewah ïƒŸdat's me venting. As usual we were giggling happily as we were writing, and this wrinkly old lady was sitting across from us. I glanced at her a few times, wondering if she minded that we were laughing and giggling so much, but she acted as if she couldn't hear us, nor that she cared as she looked stuff up on Yahoo (don't ask how I know), she was probably looking up some wrinkle care products. ANYwAY, when she was finally finished, she had the nerve to go like, (short version) "I'm sorry to say this but, this IS a study room, you're suppose to study, and there's a kid's section if you want to go joke around." Maybe ish just me, but that really ticked me, KiD's SeCtiOn!!! Pu-leeze. I had this HuGe urge to just yell, "Well, if you were really that bothered by us, than I would've expected for you to act mature about it and just tell us, that way we would've shut up, but NNOOO, you had to be all critical and mean and just plain STUUUUpid, so ish your OwN problem that you got peeved and told us AfTeRwoRds, not ours, you brought all this crap upon yourself."

**cHrRyBlSsM:** yea, I'll wrap this up for her, cuz she'll be going on all day. In short, this mean old (probably single) lady goes and tells on us to the librarians. And I had an urge to say, "I had a pleasant time with you too, thanks." But we didn't want to start up anything in the library, so we said nothing. All in all, that's our story. And CrYsTaLsNoW's juss venting and I'm just here trying to shorten things up. So yea, please review and we'll see you guys sometime soon. Ja ne!

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	15. blank

**cHrRyBlSsM:** yo. That's all I've got to say. No, not really, but because we got an e-mail from a very loyal reviewer, we have returned! AHAHAHA! That's why this chapter goes out to that loyal reviewer, gundamneko.

**CrYsTaLsNoW: **Hello, hello, HELLO!!! Yes, we're BAAAACCKK!!! This chappie is dedicated to gundamneko, for her wonderful email that has spurred us back into action!!! OHOHOHOHO, THE INSANITY CONTINUES!! MWAHAHAHAA!!! We don't own anything, by the way.

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chap 13-

Night had fallen, and our heroes sat around a fire, exchanging their oh-so-exciting tales of Barney and the Wizard of Oz. Firelight illuminated everyone's downcast face, as Duo waved his arms around excitedly recounting his encounter with Barney and Wufei's exploding head.

All of a sudden, out of the blue, the cheesy, happy, upbeat song resounded, and interrupted Duo's wonderful tale:

_Oh baby baby…_

_Oh baby baby…_

_Oh baby baby how was I supposed to know?_

_That something wasn't right here? Oh baby baby, I shouldn't have let you go…_

_And now you're right outside…_

_Show me how you want it to be…tell me baby 'cuz I need to know now, because_

_My loneliness is killing me, I must confess I still believe…still believe_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind, give me a sign,_

_HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!!!_

Everyone was silent as the tune kept playing over and over again, insistently drilling into their minds as the title of the song slowly sunk into their minds.

They all looked up at each other in horror, and miraculously, at the same time, they all began to frantically scream,

"HOLY CRAP, TURN IT OFF!"

Wufei sat there with a disgusted look on his face, his arms crossed across his chest, snorting,

"Who would have such a shamelessly lame ringtone? Honestly, show yourself!"

Quickly, everyone's gaze swept across each other, searching for the owner of the mystery phone, and everyone's eyes fell on Wufei's right pocket of his white silk Chinese-style pants. Wufei blinked, as the soft vibration of his cell phone in his pants registered in his mind. Duo smirked,

"Yea, Wufei, exactly who would have such a 'shamelessly lame ringtone'? Such dishonor!"

Wufei shot a glance at Duo, and immediately shot up in rage,

"YOU!! YOU put this shamelessly lame ringtone on my cell phone! If I recall correctly, I lent you my cell phone and when I got it back, I get THIS as repayment!!"

Wufei immediately began whacking Duo on the head with the hilt of his katana, smashing again and again and again and again and again (etc…), screaming at the top of his lungs,

"YOU DISHONORABLE MAN! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Duo tried as hard as he could to protest, "Dude, I have to pay you back for BORROWING YOUR CELL PHONE NOW? THAT'S NOT COOL! IF I HAVE TO START PAYING YOU BACK FOR THIS KIND OF CRAP THEN WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT THE TIME I BORROWED NATAKU?! AND IF I CAN'T BORROW YOUR CELL PHONE, THAT MEANS I HAVE BUY ONE! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME BUY A CELL PHONE?!!"

Duo continued to shout his protests as Wufei added his shouts of anger and rage…(Wufei needs anger management), each of their voices growing louder and louder at a dangerous rate.

"YOU BORROWED NATAKU?! WITHOUT TELLING ME?! Not that I would have let you borrow it in the first place…but REGARDLESS, NOT ONLY ARE YOU DISHONORABLE AND SHAMELESS, BUT NOW YOU ARE A DISHONORABLE AND SHAMELESS THIEF! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. Not that I ever forgave you in the first place…BUT REGARDLESS!......."

Suddenly a gunshot rang out in the midst of it all, and the two quarreling…children…stopped and snapped their heads to face a very pissed off Heero.

His voice came at barely a growl,

"Just answer the damn phone…"

Wufei threw Heero a spiteful look as he retrieved his phone from his pocket, flipping it open as he pulled up the text message. Wufei read out loud,

"Where are you? All the GameBoys of the world have shut down, and I can't play my Pokemon Stadium anymore! Hurry up and get back from where ever you've gone! Dr. J. P.S. In order to carry out our policy of absolute secrecy, this phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds…10….9…8….7…."

Everyone turned stark white as Quatre shrieked shrilly,

"WUFEI!!! WHY ARE YOU READING THE NUMBERS?! GET RID OF IT!!!"

"What?! Why my cell phone?! He's going to blow up my cell phone all over that lame text message?!!! This is injustice!!!"

Duo screamed maniacally, "DUDE, who CARES?! Just get rid of it! Who knows what kind of bomb Dr. J. put in that thing! AHHH!!" Duo ran screaming his head off towards Wufei, and jerked the phone out of his hands. Duo turned, and chucked the phone as far as he could. Unfortunately, it didn't land as far as he wanted it to as it went kerplunk on Brock's face. Wow.

Brock immediately started panicking as he tossed it in the air, shouting,

"Dude, don't give it to me!"

The phone landed in Trowa's lap, the number one screaming bright colors in the cell phone's tiny screen.

"NOOOOO!! Trowa! I'll save you!!" Quatre screamed as he flung himself toward his lover in a vain attempt to get the soon-to-be-exploding cell phone away from Trowa.

Trowa, however, made no move to move as unbeknownst to the rest of the panicking gang, he knew something they didn't….OooOOoOoOooOo…

Duo ducked behind a twig, screaming,

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT WUFEI! YOU AND YOUR STUPID SHAMELESS PRIDE!"

Wufei was about to protest angrily, but his words were cut short as they all turned to Quatre, who was now in the air. However, he fell short of the cell phone, and landed with a thump on the ground, screaming,

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo…!"

The screen on the cell phone went blank, and suddenly....

------------

"That was SO stupid…." Misty muttered. Wufei rolled his eyes, walking up to the mute Gundam pilot, picking up his cell phone which on the screen of the cell phone now read, "Boom."

Wufei examined his cell phone, turning it in his hands, wondering what could possibly happen next. His question was soon answered as abruptly, a tiny picture of a black whirlwind swirled in the tiny screen of the cell phone.

"What the, it's never done this before…" And before any of them could say 'holy flying monkeys' the whole gang was swept up and sucked into the tiny cell phone….

------------

All of them landed hard on their bottom, and as they stood and frantically took in their surroundings, they noticed they were in a glow-in-the-dark room full of strange shapes painted on the wall. Mist curled at their feet as they began to venture, slowly…ever-so-slowly…

A mechanical voice overhead sounded,

"Welcome to Laser Quest, your mission will begin in five minutes…"


	16. laserquest dun dun duuuuh

**cHrRyBlSsM:** yo. in case none of u know, laserquest is this place where u use a...laser to shoot other ppl w/. it's like paintball w/o the paint...just w/ lasers. yea, i know i'm so descriptive. and my hands are so cold that my fingers won't type fast.

**CrYsTaLsNoW: **yes...brrr...ish very cold in here...chrry! don't you have a heater! (**cHrRyBlSsM:** no) brr...i'm turning blue...oh dear...i dun tink dats a good sign...

**cHrRyBlSsM:** NEways. we dun own anything, not laserquest, not a heater, nothin'. well, ahem, 'cept for the plot. yes, we're such geniuses. ya ya ya, u guys know u luv us. yea, we juss thought we'd tell u wut laserquest is, so yea...if ya still have questiones about laserquest and wut it is, juss leave it in a REVIEW! (ahaha..of course i'm not hinting...wut are u talking about?)

-

chap. 14 -laserquest dun dun duuuuhhh

"Your game will begin in five minutes..."

"GAME" Quatre exclaimed"I LOVE games! Oh, Trowa! This is going to be so much fun" Trowa said nothing...of course...

"Dude, what games do you have on your cell phone" Duo turned to Wufei.

Wufei snorted and replied"I don't know. I don't have time for weak games."

Everyone stared at Wufei, knowing perfectly well that there was an answer.

Wufei defensively answered, crossing his arms across his chest"Chinese checkers! It is a just game of strategy and strength."

"Oh yea, it takes so much strength to move little plastic things across a board" Duo rolled his eyes.

"I'm pressing buttons, not moving pieces, thank you very much" Wufei snapped"There's a considerable amount of exertion put into that. Especially in the knuckles"

"Okay children, that's enough" Ash snorted impatiently.

"HELLO" a perky voice chimed energetically.

Our entire band of cheery heroes screamed and jumped two feet into the air, leaving Trowa behind to stare up at them in a bored manner. They landed solidly on the ground (with a "kerplunk" or a "kerploosh" or..."ker-plunky-dunk" or...no, forget it, they just land) and whirled around as they saw a blonde lady in uniform.

"WELCOME TO LASERQUEST! A PLACE OF ACTION, ADVENTURE, A TEST OF WITS"

Wufei muttered"Ah, I LIKE this place"

"-AND A WHOLE LOT OF FUN! Hours from 10 to 12"

"Never mind." Wufei sighed, and he thought they actually landed in a place worthy of his presence. (Like Chinese checkers!)

"DUDE, you have laserquest on your cell phone" Duo exclaimed"If I had a cell phone, I'd so ask for this game, but I don't have a cell phone...so I can't ask for this game..."

The cheerful lady quickly handed them a little plastic object with a round metal, magnetic piece at one end,  
"Here are your code-names, enjoy the game"

They all stared at the yellow plastic things in their hands, and soon, they were quickly swept away as the lady pushed them into a small room past big plastic doors.

"What are these for" Brock asked, staring at the strange, unknown device in their hand. A black light suddenly flicked on, and everyone stared to glow...

...in the dark. (haha, get it? glow in the dark...actually, it's not that funny)

"Welcome to Laserquest, my code-name is Bubbles and I will be your marshall for this evening. When you enter the airlock, there will be rows of vests "

"Vests" Misty squeaked"I gotta watch my hair"

"-select a vest with flashing lights, and slip it onto your right shoulder over your head as so..." The lady demonstrated proudly.

"This is so lame..." Ash muttered"Don't you think so Pikachu?"

The yellow rat squealed enthusiastically.

"How...How did that rat get in here?" Duo murmured to himself"He hasn't been here for the past like five chapters... Hm, Hee-chan? What do you think?"

"I have a score to settle with that yellow rat..." Heero hissed menacingly.

(We know Pikachu has been missing for quite awhile, so we thought we'd throw him back in. Yea, we don't know how he got in the cell phone either. You guys can use your imaginations.)

"-the lasergun"

"GUN" Wufei bellowed as everybody snapped their heads in his direction"I LIKE THIS GAME."

"-can be shot at the shoulders, the front, back, and at the barrel of other people's guns "

"Why not the head?" Wufei inquired "It is also a vital point."

The lady smiled in Wufei's direction and answered his question (in a valley girl kinda voice)"Because there's no sensor on your head, silly."

Wufei remained puzzled as the lady continued,

"-okay, into the airlock we go" Bubbles slid open the slidable (we dun know if that's a word) door as it rumbled...rumble rumble rumble...open.

"PICK A VEST WITH FLASHING LIGHTS!" she screamed.

Our troupe hesitantly marched into the airlock, and slipped on vests...hesitantly.

"Please place your plastic-do-hicky"

"Hicky" Duo perked up at the word and started giving a mischievious look towards his lover.

"-and discover your code-name"

"Code-name" Quatre inquired "OooOO, I'm so excited! Tro-chan, dun forget! We need to stick together! It's gonna be dark and spooky out there"

"Dark?" Duo perked up at this word also, his imagination swirling.

Quatre enthusiasitically stuck the metal detector into the lasergun and watched as his code-name appeared in the digital screen: Flower Boy.

Quatre exclaimed happily"How did they know! What's yours, Tro-kun?"

Trowa stuck out his gun so his lover could read the words: The Silence.

"WHOA, how did they know YOURS too! Someone's watching over you TROWA! It's a SIGN!" Quatre was being very...dramatic about all this...

Duo excitedly discovered his code-name: The Scythe-Death.

"They kinda got it backwards, but good enough for me" Duo said "What's yours Heero?"

Heero refused to say his, so Duo snatched the gun from his lover's hands and read the name: The-Guy-With-Spandex-Shorts.

"Awww, it's okay Heero, I think you look hot in spandex shorts. With two T's! H-O-O-T-T!" Duo stated sympathetically.

"You spelled it wrong, dork" Wufei said monotonously.

"What would you know about HOTTNESS, Wufei! See this bootay right here?" Duo turned around and promptly slapped his butt.

Everyone face-faulted.

Wufei recoiled from the sight.

Misty rolled her eyes and read her code-name: Avenger of Justice.

Wufei looked over her shoulder and immediately gawked"That was supposed to be MINE"

"So what's your code-name then, Mr. Chang of the Dragon Clan and yadi yadda yadda..." Misty snorted.

Wufei plopped the metallic plastic thing...and his mouth dropped open, mortified. His code-name was...

"WHAT!"

"Your code-name's 'what'?" Quatre squealed "What a nice code-name! Simply lovely, it suits you quite well"

"NO, MY CODE NAME IS...on second thought, I don't want to say it" Wufei thought twice.

"So your code-name's 'on second thought, I don't want to say it'?" Quatre asked "Make up your mind"

"NO! I'm not saying what my code-name is"

"We'll all figure it out eventually..."

They all started trampeding towards Wufei, desperate to yank the gun out of his hands in order to read the glowing screen.

"AHA, I saw it! It's MORON WITH NO LIFE!" Misty screamed, making up a name out of nowhere (it's not really his code-name to those people who aren't catching on).

"NO! IT'S MOMMY'S BOY" Wufei yelled indignantly, then turning stark white as he realized that he had just fallen for Misty's trap and had blurted the disgraceful name to the public.

Everyone burst into rounds of laughter. Rounds and rounds and rounds of laughter (watch it go...).

(okay, we're going to speed this up, because announcing everyone's code name discreetly is taking up too much time...Ash is Pokemon Loser. (that didn't go over too well with him), and Brock is Three-Foot Munchkin (HOW DID THEY KNOW!))

"OKAY, if everyone is done going over their names, please repeat the rules after me!" the lady screamed quite impatiently.

They all snapped to attention. (not really)

"I WILL NOT COVER ANY SENSORS" Bubbles yelled shrilly.

"Censors? But censors cover all the good stuff!" Duo pouted unhappily, but then paused "oh wait, Heero, we're going to need those..." Duo smirked mischieviously. Wufei smacked his forehead and cuffed Duo's head.

"Baka, censors, with a 'c', is different from sensor, spelled with an 's'."

"Aww..darn..."

"I WILL NOT RUN, JUMP, OR LIE DOWN"

Because our group was growing quite impatient (and we are too), they repeated this quite silly and pointless rule monotonously.

"I WILL NOT USE OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE"

They all groaned. Duo stuttered,

"What the fuck?"

All the little kids (yes, there are little kids too) and Bubbles gasped.

"gasp, that's a bad word" a child murmured awingly.

"He's soo cool..." the other small children whispered amongst eachother.

"AHEM, I WILL NOT MAKE ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH OTHER PLAYERS"

No one repeated this rule. (Except for the little children.)

"And lastly, I WILL PLAY FAIR, HAVE FUN, AND GIVE IT MY ALL"

No one repeated this one either.

"Alright, have fun people" Bubbles finished in a tired voice"Oh wait, one more thing..."

Everyone groaned in despair. (groooooooooooaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn...)

"If you should be needing my assistance in any way ..."

"I need assistance with a broken heart! Only your love can heal me" Brock suddenly exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

Misty grumbled under her breath"There he goes again, flirting with every girl he sees...except for me...WHY IS THAT?"

Her question was not answered.

"-just call 'Marshal marshal marshal' into the air three times."

"Isn't that nine?" Ash asked, counting on his fingers.

"REPEAT IT! SCREAM, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, 'MARSHAL MARSHAL MARSHAL'"

"Mwarshal, mwarshal, mwarshal" the little kids squealed. (like the little mice they are...like a disease, SPREADING EVERYWHERE!)

"AND WE BEGIN"

(jeez, at last! that only took three pages and two hours! we're pitiful!)

-

**cHrRyBlSsM:** unfortunately, we haven't the heart to go on. lack of reviews, and at the moment, lack of inspiration and other crap like that...have driven us to cut this chappie short. sorry...

**CrYsTaLsNoW: **yup...ish lack-of-review syndrome...we can't go on...help us! press that lil purple button. Ish so pretty, you know you want to! .

**cHrRyBlSsM: **crap, when i uploaded this to it got rid of all the question marks ...and punctuation marks in general. i went through it once, and towards the end i towards to realize this, so i tried to fix it. but if u see a lot of grammatical/punctuation errors, it's not our fault.


	17. chap 15

**cHrRyBlSsM:** oh when it all...it all falls down...ahahaha, kanye west! ahem uh, yea, we're baaaak... ahahaHAHA, we have an importante announcement to announce!

**Ice Dragoness (formally known as CrYsTaLsNoW):** OHOHOHOHOHOHo! I have undergone a DRASTIC change! (just my name...) I kinda got sick of my other name, so i renamed myself, yay! OH, by the way, I'm getting my own account (**cHrRyBlSsM:** finally) soon, and I'll be going under Ice Dragoness and my stories Silver Thread, and Broken Vow will be reupdated. READ and REVIEW for meeee!

**cHrRyBlSsM:** um, yea, well, back to present matters...we dun own nothin' that relates to this fic... so uh, yea, here we go...

* * *

chap. 15

The airlock rumbled as it opened. (It slightly resembled a garage door...Wufei suspected that it WAS a garage door...) The little youngsters rushed into the darkness, squealing in delight, swinging their newly acquired laserguns into the glow in the dark playground. Mist curled at their ankles, and lights flashed above them to add to the "exhilirating" experiance of playing laser tag... (we dunno...we're just the writers...)

Wufei took in his surroundings, snorting in disgust (no, he's not on drugs), "What kind of insulting game is this? Have I sunk this low as to play with mere children in a vague attempt to copy actual war?...and to look "cool"? Heh, this is Pa-The-Tic!"

"Yo Wu-man!" Duo yelled, standing a couple feet away.

"What do you want, you insolent fool?" Wufei asked impatiently.

Duo sweatdropped, "Move a lil' to the right, would ya?"

"..." Wufei shuffled to the right silently with a suspicious look on his face.

"Yea! That way...no, no, a lil' more...there we go!"

"...Why am I shifting 3.4557215432 millimeters to the right?"

"You'll see!" Duo lifted his lasergun and aimed.

The rest of the group, curious now, turned to look at what Duo was up to. They didn't have to wait long, for in the distance, they heard a rumble.

Rumble rumble rumble...

Quatre squeaked fearfully, "Tro-kun! What's that? Is a storm coming! I don't like lightning!" Trowa stood there...wordlessly, of course.

Suddenly, a herd of (antelope! haha, jk, jk) kids came trampling over the accurately positioned Wufei. Yes, these kids came trampling over our poor Wufei with fierce, maniac looks in their eyes. (Have you ever been to Laser Quest? Kids there are scary...they're so vicious. This one kid hit me in an attempt to get a shot at me...jeez, what has the world come to? And this OTHER kid hit my sister in the eye...gave her a black eye for a week...in fact, she had a bump on her forehead the size of an egg. Yes, it's all true. We swear. Actually, we don't swear...but uh...alrite, bak to the story).

Our poor Wufei twitched on the ground, stunned at the sudden stampede of (antelope) kids.

"Perfect!" Duo exclaimed happily.

A few minutes later (after Wufei regained consciousness), Wufei, having suffered a blow to his pride, tried to regain his dignity (since he regained his consciousness, he thought, "what the heck, I might as well regain my dignity too!") by SHUTTING THEM ALL DOWN... He examined his gun with a determined force, muttering indecisively under his breath,

"Oh, they're all goin' down...Now, all I have to do is figure out this contraption...it's not even worth comparing to a real gun...it can't even do any real damage!" POW

Wufei bellowed in pain, "OW, this cursed device has blinded me!"

"Well, a laser will do that to ya," Duo stated matter-of-factly.

"Why you!" Wufei promptly began to chase Duo around the glow-in-the dark labrynth (VOCAB WORD! AHAHAHA...don't mind us, ish an inside joke).

Two hours, fifty-two laser shots later, five times of Duo running into a mirror, and Quatre getting lost...later...

Our G-boys got bored, so, uh...

"You guys!" Ash yelled into the echoey silence of the maze, "Guys! It's like a haunted place here, I don't hear anybody talking!"

"'Cuz they're too busy with other things..." Misty said blandly, suddenly showing up behind Ash.

"Then where ?" Ash began, but got cut off by the Marshall (Bubbles) who had marched up to a dark corner. Ash thought he could make out (AHAHA, that's a PUN) two blackened figures.

"Gentlemen!" Bubbles squeaked shrilly in her nasal voice, "According to Rule Four and on Page 32, Paragraph 5D, Sentence 3...and in my conscience, please refrain from any physical contact with other players!"

Ash's eyebrows quirked inquiringly, "What are you talking about, Marshall? They aren't " Ash stopped midsentence and screamed,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, my EYEEEEEES! I'VE BEEN SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

A voice muttered in irritation, "Damn, we've been caught."

"Heero! I told you to be more quiet!"

"Tro-kun, I think we should come out now...we should obey the Marshall."

Four figures emerged, each looking ruffled and dishelved.

"You guys!" Misty cried, disgusted, "Now we're gonna get kicked out!"

"Actually, I believe in SECOND CHANCES," Bubbles said happily, "So go on, play your game! Remember, PLAY FAIR, HAVE FUN, AND GIVE IT YOUR ALL!" With that, she disappeared into the darkness.

Wufei sighed, "This is pathetic. I, Wufei Chang, of the Dragon Clan, am most disgusted."

"Wu-man, your vocabularly is limited to the words 'Dragon Clan','honor','disgusted','pathetic'...on second thought, maybe your vocabularly isn't limited..." Duo began to ramble senselessly.

"It certainly is more extensive than yours."

"Hmph."

"Oh, screw it!" Duo yelled, "I'm so tired of these stupid pieces of plastic that only shoot flashes of light! I say that we play with REAL guns!" Wufei's eyes lit up,

"Yes! Let us fight like MEN!" The rest of the G-boys shrugged, ignoring the horrified looks of Misty, Ash, and Brock, as they all flipped out their guns. Duo smirked a satisfied grin, as he hissed maliciously at the now approaching, and pitifully oblivious children came running toward them, eager for some free points.

"Hehehe, you're playing with the big boys now...hehehe..." The little children paused, confused and befuddled, as one of them turned to the other,

"Hey, why is that Chinese dude and the long haired guy looking at us like we're roast turkey (gobble gobble)?" The other boy shrugged, and before either of them had time to react, the highly trained Gundam pilots opened fire, shooting everything in sight.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM bambambambambambananabandanabambambambammabamboobeeep...

The children immediately tensed, and stared up at the G-boys in shock.

"You wanna run away screaming?" one of them asked.

"After you..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A gun cocked menacingly behind Quatre.

"AHHH, don't shoot me! Save me Tro-kun!" Quatre jumped behind Trowa.

Wufei snorted, "You have no right to be a Gundam pilot."

The man with the gun soon proved him wrong as he turned to point the gun's barrel at Wufei's face. The Chinese pilot turned stark white and yelped as he ducked pathetically.

"Some Gundam pilot you are," Heero commented.

"Shut up."

"WHY DON'T YOU ALL SHUT UP!" the stranger yelled, "YOU COME INTO MY BUSINESSSSS, AND RUIN EVERYTHING!"

"Dude, say it, don't spray it." Duo wiped his face irritably from the shower of saliva.

"SHUTS UP!" the dude spat (literally), swinging his gun menacingly, "Didn't you read the sign! No guns allowed!"

"What sign? There wasn't a sign! Besides, YOU'RE holding a gun!" Duo spat back (literally).

The man stuttered a little before shoving the gun behind his back, "What gun?"

"...So, who are you again?"

"The manager of this facility."

Duo turned to Wufei, "Dude, your game has managers?"

"I guess so."

"We're in a freaking cell phone!"

"Yes, well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"May I interrupt?" the manager said abruptly, "But I am going to have to kick you out."

"Well, technically, you can't kick us out..."

The manager smiled evilly, "Oh, I believe that you will see that I can."

"Wow, that's a lot of verbs..."

Wufei snorted indignantly, "NO ONE kicks Wufei Chang of the Dragon Clan out of ANY facility, unless I say so!"

"Ask me if I care." With that, the manager began to advance on our poor G-boys/Pokemon gang.

The sparks on Pikachu's tail began to spark warningly...his red cheeks trembling with static. Suddenly...

"PIIIIIIIIIIIII-KAAAAAAAAA-CHUUUUUUUUU."

"Bless you."

The once dark room began to illuminate with a blinding flash of light as electricity sprouted from the small yellow rat. The little amount of lightbulbs shattered, and the mirrors on the walls collapsed, and suddenly the room was filled with shrieks of little children, shocked, terrified at what was happening. (To think this is all happening in a cell phone).

"MY CELL PHONE!" Wufei cried despairingly.

The walls that had once surrounded them began to crumble and fragments of the floor began to give way as they fell into a bottomless pit of DOOM.

Ahaha, jk, jk...

Actually, they just fall "plop" onto green grass.

Really, really green grass.

Quatre sighed, "Where are we now?"

"Um, we're back where we started...again," Ash stated placidly, pointing at their camp fire, which was smoldering at the edges.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." (haha, guess who?)

* * *

**cHrRyBlSsM:** yes, we got them out! finally... well, uh, reviews would be nice...but uh, yea...

**Ice Dragoness: **Yay! finally, another chappie done! Now you guys know what to do! See that lil purple button down there! Isn't it so pretty? Come on and press it, you know you want to!


End file.
